Difficult Relationships / Rod E. Smith

Christians ought to be the most free, most fun loving, joyful people of all, and, when married, ought to be having the very best “wall-socket” (a David Schnarch term) sex on the planet.
Surely, knowing a creative God, being engaged in a dynamic relationship with the very Giver of life, the very source of joy – [...]

Filed under: Attraction, Authentic love, Faith, Family, Friendship, Second marriages, Sex education, Sex matters, Voice, Weddings | Tagged: bible, christians, Family, fun, husband, Love, no sex marriage, Schnarch, sex, wife | 2 Comments »

1. Enriched is the man who treats others with kindness beyond their deserving. He is generous with family and strangers and he seeks the highest good for all, knowing that the wisdom he exercises in his daily life positively impacts people around him. He regards faithfulness with high regard. The very thought of betraying his [...]

Filed under: Attraction, Authentic love, Listening, Marriage, Meditation, Second marriages | Tagged: dad, Family, Generosity, Happiness, kindness, Love, men, peace, sex, sexuality, success | 3 Comments »

Conditions under which counseling or therapy will be of most value….
1. Neither client nor therapist exaggerates therapist’s abilities or the client’s condition.
2. Therapist sees role as helping client steer toward a more productive, healthy future.
3. Client sees the “big picture” over the “long haul” rather immediate relief in the “here and now.” (Patience, patience, patience).
4. [...]

Filed under: Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Blended families, Books, Boundaries, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Divorce, Domination, Education, Family, Forgiveness, Friendship, High maintenance relationships, Love, Manipulation, Marriage, Re-marriage, Recovery, Relationships, Responsive people, Second marriages, Sexual compatibility, Step parenting, Teenagers, Therapeutic Process, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Voice, Young Love | Tagged: affair, Counseling, Family, father, help, lover, Money, mother, parents, sex, therapy, time, waste | 7 Comments »

To become authentically closer to your lover, and to develop greater intimacy with that person, work conscientiously at your separateness from him or her. This is, I believe, is the most challenging behind-the-scenes issue of every intimate relationship.
“Is it possible to love you without also losing me?” expresses the inevitable tension every close relationship [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Attraction, Authentic love, Boundaries, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Dating, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Divorce, Faith, Family, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Insight, Interpersonal intimacy, Listening, Personal growth, Relationships, Second marriages, Sex education, Sex matters, Sexual abuse, Sexual compatibility, Single parenting, Therapeutic Process, Toxic Relationships, Trust, Victims, Voice, Weddings, Young Love | 8 Comments »

“Our daughter has now been married for three years to her second husband. The marriage has broken down horribly. After one counseling session he refuses to go again. He is totally absorbed in his work, sometimes doesn’t even go to bed at night. He verbally abuses and finds fault with everything our daughter says or [...]

Filed under: Anger, Authentic love, Blended families, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, In-laws, Love, Manipulation, Marriage, Relationships, Second marriages, Toxic Relationships, Triggers, Trust, Victims, Voice | 4 Comments »

In further response to yesterday’s question from a mother and a son (13) who is ‘causing conflict in my new marriage.’ As quoted yesterday, the mother says, ‘I don’t think it has anything to do with his father. We’ve been divorced for eleven years. My son doesn’t see, or want to see, his dad at [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Children, Communication, Differentiation, Second marriages | No Comments »

“My son (13) is giving me problems and causing conflict in my new marriage. He treats my second husband like dirt and back chats us and blames us when he is at fault. He has reassured me that he loves my new husband but can’t help or prevent what he says. My son says that [...]

Filed under: Children, Communication, Difficult Relationships, Marriage, Second marriages | 1 Comment »

You started dating before he/she had been divorced a year.
You started dating before his/her divorce was final.
You started dating before all the financial details of the previous marriage were completed, agreed upon, and settled.
He/she places all blame for the breakdown of the marriage on the former spouse.
He/she wants, or allows, sexual intimacy (with you or [...]

Filed under: Boundaries, Control issues, Interpersonal intimacy, Jealousy, Second marriages, Victims, Voice, Weddings | 6 Comments »

My wife is a very difficult person who wants everything her way or she punishes the family in harsh and secretive ways. She gives the impression that she is selfless and giving but in reality it is all about her. I am a very faithful man but I do understand why men have affairs. There [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Affairs, Anger, Children, Communication, Domination, Double standards, Marriage, Personal growth, Second marriages, Spousal abuse, Victims | 12 Comments »

“I can relate to the stepmother of six children. My experience was very bad and a long haul. I also got to the stage where I just stopped caring and turned my cheek for the next slap. Where do I start perhaps with the your’s and mine scenario. I had two daughters and he had [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Blended families, Boundaries, Children, Parenting/Children, Second marriages, Step parenting, Stepfather, Stepmother, Teenagers, Voice | 3 Comments »