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“I always read your column and then the daily ‘tail-piece.’ One of the many things that caught my attention was that marriage is not two people in one boat but two people, each person in his or her own boat. I think my husband would like us to be joined together and have us share [...]
Filed under: Authentic love, Communication, Personal growth, Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Voice | Tagged: Marriage | No Comments »
“I feel compelled to respond to your letter from the ‘other woman’ in a relationship with a married man.
“My husband conducted a two-year extra-marital affair after many years of marriage. We survived the shocking discovery of my husband’s infidelity, but trust and respect, once broken, are difficult things to re-build. Understanding why a husband strays [...]
Filed under: Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Voice | Tagged: infidelity, unfaithful, wife and husband conflict | 1 Comment »
“I am in a three-year relationship and my daughter (14) lives with us. My friend tells me he is tired of commuting from my house to work. He wants me to move to his lake home and put my daughter in school there, which would lessen his commute by 20 minutes. My daughter grew up [...]
Filed under: Children, Communication, Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Voice | No Comments »
1. When a person is moving away from you (separating physically, emotionally detaching) to chase, to persuade, to cajole will be counterproductive.
2. When every move, every expressed thought, every action, on the part of another person has the capacity to upset you or derail you, you are probably too close, too intensely involved with [...]
Filed under: Authentic love, Communication, Personal growth, Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Voice | Tagged: Interpersonal intimacy | No Comments »
Weeks ago I began a series of columns entitled “A is for Autonomy.” Here is more in my series of “ABCs for Growing Adults”:
B is for Boundary: an invisible line that separates you, making you distinct from others. When blurred, it will be hard for you to tell the difference between your thoughts and feelings, [...]
Filed under: Authentic love, Communication, Personal growth, Relationships, Voice | No Comments »
“Please remember that it is not only women who suffer abuse, often they perpetrate it themselves and also direct it at other women. I wish you would address that wives can also abuse husbands. I have two brothers who are in very problematic marriages and to see their spirits diminished to nothing is heart-breaking. [...]
Filed under: Abuse, Relationships, Toxic Relationships | Tagged: men are abused | No Comments »
“There’s a lonely man where I work. I know he’s unhappily married. I can see it in his eyes. You are going to say I should stay away from him because I have read you for years. What if I just want to have fun? The best sex I have ever had has been with [...]
Filed under: Attraction, Difficult Relationships, Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Victims | Tagged: affiars at work, married men | 1 Comment »
1. Even though you do not feel like it, “force” yourself into a loving and supportive community. Go out with old friends, join a club or a church, find a new interest that is shared with “new” people.
2. Tell one person everything. Don’t choose someone too close to the situation, or someone who has also [...]
Filed under: Differentiation, Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Voice | Tagged: breaking up, reconciliation | 2 Comments »
“Horse and carriage” drives within you: deny either at your own peril…
A is for Autonomy*: a powerful instinctual longing within you. It’s the desire to be self-directed and separate. It is the “you” who wants to be free of all responsibilities. It is the “you” that fears absorption; the “you” who wants to let your [...]
Filed under: Authentic love, Communication, Personal growth, Relationships, Voice | Tagged: autonomy, emotional health, freedom, intimacy | 2 Comments »
Sexual behaviors can provide powerful insight into a person’s life. While it is tempting to label people and behavior, it is seldom helpful when solutions to damaging or addictive behaviors are sought. It is helpful to note that:
1. Sexuality, and sexual problems, cannot be divorced from a person’s “whole.” To say “this is just a sexual [...]
Filed under: Abuse, Difficult Relationships, Personal growth, Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Victims | Tagged: understanding sexuality | No Comments »
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