Difficult Relationships / Rod E. Smith

1. Be aware of the unique, honored position I have in your life, and regard it with the respect it deserves.
2. Hear you, even if you are telling me things I’d rather you not say.
3. Be willing to disagree with you, when, in my estimation, you are wrong, off target, or unfair in your actions [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Boundaries, Coaching, Communication, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Family, Friendship, Growing up, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Listening, Personal growth, Reactivity, Recovery, Relationships, Responsive people, Teenagers, Victims, Voice, Womanhood, Young Love | Tagged: Family, Friendship, Love, men and women, power of friendships | 2 Comments »

Are you estranged from a family member? Here, modified according to your needs* and circumstances, and expressed in your own words and style, is the gist of offering a “Here I Stand” challenge:
“Here I stand, my son, despite our painful history, desiring to be a loving parent and grandparent to you and to your children. [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Blended families, Boundaries, Communication, Community, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Family, Fathers, Forgiveness, Friendship, Generosity, Grace, Recovery, Relationships, Trust, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: daughter, Forgiveness, parent, reconciliation, son | No Comments »

It is in us to love. It’s human. We have the capacity for it. Even hurt and rejected people can love. Once a person accepts that love has more than romantic connotations, as powerful and valid as these of course are, he or she will be able to see its broader power.
Love is unleashed through [...]

Filed under: Anger, Anxiety, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Cheating, Children, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Double standards, Faith, Family, Generosity, Grace, Growing up, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Listening, Long distance relationships, Love, Marriage, Meditation, Past relationships, Personal growth, Re-marriage, Recovery, Sexual abuse, Sexual compatibility, Therapeutic Process, Toxic Relationships, Triggers, Trust, Victims, Voice, Weddings, Womanhood, Young Love | Tagged: courage, Family, healing, hurt, husband, Love, wife | 4 Comments »

Conditions under which counseling or therapy will be of most value….
1. Neither client nor therapist exaggerates therapist’s abilities or the client’s condition.
2. Therapist sees role as helping client steer toward a more productive, healthy future.
3. Client sees the “big picture” over the “long haul” rather immediate relief in the “here and now.” (Patience, patience, patience).
4. [...]

Filed under: Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Blended families, Books, Boundaries, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Divorce, Domination, Education, Family, Forgiveness, Friendship, High maintenance relationships, Love, Manipulation, Marriage, Re-marriage, Recovery, Relationships, Responsive people, Second marriages, Sexual compatibility, Step parenting, Teenagers, Therapeutic Process, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Voice, Young Love | Tagged: affair, Counseling, Family, father, help, lover, Money, mother, parents, sex, therapy, time, waste | 7 Comments »

Are you emotionally out of shape? Psychologically exhausted? Tramped on? Feel trapped? Just as a person can be physically run down, so also can one become emotionally depleted. Here are simple, not easy, steps to getting your internal life into shape. Each will do your internal life as much good as frequent exercise does for [...]

Filed under: Alcoholism, Anger, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Cheating, Children, Coaching, Communication, Community, Control issues, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Divorce, Domination, Double standards, Family, First date, Flirting, Forgiveness, Friendship, Growing up, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Intimidation, Jealousy, Listening, Living together, Long distance relationships, Marriage, Marriage and in-laws, Meditation, Parenting/Children, Past relationships, Personal growth, Pornography, Re-marriage, Reactivity, Recovery, Relationships, Sexual abuse, Sexual compatibility, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: , drink, drunk, emotional, exhausted, help, Marriage, remarriage, tired | 7 Comments »

Three questions to ask to establish the presence of an addiction:
1. Are there physical symptoms related to the behavior or to the absence of the behavior (cravings, ideation, longing, preoccupation)?
2. Is there loss, or threatened loss, of close relationships (breakups of marriage or friendships) as a direct result of the behavior?
3. Has there been [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Alcoholism, Anger, Authentic love, Betrayal, Double standards, Reactivity, Recovery, Relationships, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: addictions, alcohol, Divorce, drunk, families, Family, gambling, help, husband, Recovery, secrets, wife | No Comments »

I got a visit from Jill today. She spent an hour telling me all the things wrong with her boyfriend, Jack. Word, words, words, details and more details filled the room. I decided there is no human, no matter how loving, kind and patient, who could fill the hole of dissatisfaction in Jill’s life. She [...]

Filed under: Anxiety, Attraction, Authentic love, Interpersonal intimacy, Intimidation, Jealousy, Listening, Reactivity, Recovery, Relationships, Therapeutic Process, Toxic Relationships, Voice | 3 Comments »

READER: I am feeling very attracted to a co-worker. This attraction has not gone anywhere yet. I do not want to ruin my marriage. In the interests of honesty should I tell this man about my feelings to deflate the attraction?
ROD: Absolutely not - your feelings of attraction to this man are not about this [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Compatibility, Control issues, Dating, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Re-marriage, Reactivity, Recovery | 3 Comments »

1. Set career, academic, and health goals for yourself, and then work hard to achieve them.
2. Develop a network of diverse and supportive friends.
3. Challenge your husband to be a mutual, respectful, and equal partner in every aspect of your relationship.
4. Resist any forms of intimacy you do not find pleasing or comfortable.
5. Believe in [...]

Filed under: Communication, Compatibility, Control issues, Divorce, Double standards, Faith, Family, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Listening, Living together, Love, Recovery, Relationships, Voice | 3 Comments »

Reader: My adult son died 9 years ago. I had promised to stay at his side. The day he died, we had a lovely day, chatting, laughing at things on TV, and just being quiet. By evening I was so exhausted that I told him I was going home and would see him in the [...]

Filed under: Forgiveness, Grace, Grief, Insight, Parenting/Children, Recovery, Relationships | 5 Comments »