Difficult Relationships / Rod E. Smith

“My husband is bipolar and for almost all of our married life he has shown severe aggression whilst driving. The slightest irritation on the road would cause him to exhibit road rage. He would most often tailgate and show aggressive signs to other drivers. I have known him to get out of his vehicle to [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Anger, Bi-polar, Rage, Reactivity, Relationships, Violence, Voice | Tagged: Anger, Bi-polar, driving, Marriage, Rage | 6 Comments »

1. Be aware of the unique, honored position I have in your life, and regard it with the respect it deserves.
2. Hear you, even if you are telling me things I’d rather you not say.
3. Be willing to disagree with you, when, in my estimation, you are wrong, off target, or unfair in your actions [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Boundaries, Coaching, Communication, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Family, Friendship, Growing up, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Listening, Personal growth, Reactivity, Recovery, Relationships, Responsive people, Teenagers, Victims, Voice, Womanhood, Young Love | Tagged: Family, Friendship, Love, men and women, power of friendships | 2 Comments »

“My daughter (26) constantly asks for money. She gets dead-end jobs and we have to pay her accounts (bills). We go without while she has everything. She has to have a car (to get to her job) and a cell phone (in case she gets the offer of a better job) and new clothes (to [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Parenting/Children, Reactivity | Tagged: adults, Children, debt, Family, help, Money | No Comments »

Are you emotionally out of shape? Psychologically exhausted? Tramped on? Feel trapped? Just as a person can be physically run down, so also can one become emotionally depleted. Here are simple, not easy, steps to getting your internal life into shape. Each will do your internal life as much good as frequent exercise does for [...]

Filed under: Alcoholism, Anger, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Cheating, Children, Coaching, Communication, Community, Control issues, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Divorce, Domination, Double standards, Family, First date, Flirting, Forgiveness, Friendship, Growing up, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Intimidation, Jealousy, Listening, Living together, Long distance relationships, Marriage, Marriage and in-laws, Meditation, Parenting/Children, Past relationships, Personal growth, Pornography, Re-marriage, Reactivity, Recovery, Relationships, Sexual abuse, Sexual compatibility, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: , drink, drunk, emotional, exhausted, help, Marriage, remarriage, tired | 7 Comments »

Three questions to ask to establish the presence of an addiction:
1. Are there physical symptoms related to the behavior or to the absence of the behavior (cravings, ideation, longing, preoccupation)?
2. Is there loss, or threatened loss, of close relationships (breakups of marriage or friendships) as a direct result of the behavior?
3. Has there been [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Alcoholism, Anger, Authentic love, Betrayal, Double standards, Reactivity, Recovery, Relationships, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: addictions, alcohol, Divorce, drunk, families, Family, gambling, help, husband, Recovery, secrets, wife | No Comments »

I got a visit from Jill today. She spent an hour telling me all the things wrong with her boyfriend, Jack. Word, words, words, details and more details filled the room. I decided there is no human, no matter how loving, kind and patient, who could fill the hole of dissatisfaction in Jill’s life. She [...]

Filed under: Anxiety, Attraction, Authentic love, Interpersonal intimacy, Intimidation, Jealousy, Listening, Reactivity, Recovery, Relationships, Therapeutic Process, Toxic Relationships, Voice | 3 Comments »

READER: I am feeling very attracted to a co-worker. This attraction has not gone anywhere yet. I do not want to ruin my marriage. In the interests of honesty should I tell this man about my feelings to deflate the attraction?
ROD: Absolutely not - your feelings of attraction to this man are not about this [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Compatibility, Control issues, Dating, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Re-marriage, Reactivity, Recovery | 3 Comments »

A few thoughts on dealing with inappropriate or threatening behavior like shouting, swearing, pushing, restricting movement, drunkenness, withholding keys, wallet, or personal items from someone, who will also then will claim, usually within a very short time, to love you:
1. If your most intimate relationship has degenerated to any one of the mentioned behaviors, ask yourself [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Alcoholism, Anxiety, Authentic love, Betrayal, Control issues, Differentiation, Disrespect, Divorce, Domination, Interpersonal intimacy, Intimidation, Jealousy, Manipulation, Personal growth, Reactivity, Recovery, Relationships, Therapeutic Process, Victims, Violence, Voice | 11 Comments »

To the woman who doesn’t understand her boyfriend’s need for “space”:
I’d suggest that when the relationship began it got too hot (too close, too intense, too everything) too soon. Once a little dust settled, what was intense and powerful feels just as powerfully suffocating.
When you want to know where he is, what he’s thinking, who [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Community, Compatibility, First date, Reactivity, Recovery, Relationships, Space, Voice | 5 Comments »

READER QUESTION: Mine is an action-packed story of a marriage of 30 years. It has yielded wonderful children and grand children. Outwardly we are a normal, peaceful family. However, unnoticed by all, was an unfortunate and stressful issue of a wife, who experienced a hormone imbalance issue, which culminated her entertaining several extra marital affairs. Fortunately, [...]

Filed under: Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Cheating, Communication, Compatibility, Control issues, Disrespect, Divorce, Domination, Double standards, Interpersonal intimacy, Jealousy, Past relationships, Reactivity, Recovery, Relationships | 1 Comment »