Difficult Relationships / Rod E. Smith

“Horse and carriage” drives within you: deny either at your own peril…
A is for Autonomy*: a powerful instinctual longing within you. It’s the desire to be self-directed and separate. It is the “you” who wants to be free of all responsibilities. It is the “you” that fears absorption; the “you” who wants to let your [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Communication, Personal growth, Relationships, Voice | Tagged: autonomy, emotional health, freedom, intimacy | 2 Comments »

None of the conditions has to be ever-present to count. Even abusive relationships are sometimes trauma and pain-free. Believing the “good times” excuses the “bad times” is an error.  The presence of ONE of the following means you could benefit from immediate help.
1.    Are you secretive about your relationship so no one really knows what [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Communication, Personal growth, Voice | Tagged: Abuse, Spousal abuse, Toxic Relationships | No Comments »

Sexual behaviors can provide powerful insight into a person’s life. While it is tempting to label people and behavior, it is seldom helpful when solutions to damaging or addictive behaviors are sought. It is helpful to note that:
1. Sexuality, and sexual problems, cannot be divorced from a person’s “whole.” To say “this is just a sexual [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Difficult Relationships, Personal growth, Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Victims | Tagged: understanding sexuality | No Comments »

“You often mention ‘forgiving’ or ‘forgiveness.’ Is this blanket advice even to follow when the person who has perpetrated the wrong has not apologized or asked for forgiveness. If you forgive someone who has not asked for forgiveness, are you then not letting that person get away with their bad behaviour and thus not putting [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Boundaries, Communication, Differentiation, Forgiveness, Personal growth, Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Voice | Tagged: how do I forgive, hurt, sorrow, sorry | No Comments »

Lizz,
There are a whole range of responses that men have to women being pregnant and giving birth. Difficult though it is for me to understand, I’m aware that a significant number of men find pregnant women to be unusually attractive, even to the point of becoming fantasy objects. Likewise, some men see mothers as more [...]

Filed under: Communication, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Divorce, Double standards, Penis propelled, Personal contact, Personal growth, Pornography, Rage, Re-marriage | Tagged: pregnancy | No Comments »

1. Be aware of the unique, honored position I have in your life, and regard it with the respect it deserves.
2. Hear you, even if you are telling me things I’d rather you not say.
3. Be willing to disagree with you, when, in my estimation, you are wrong, off target, or unfair in your actions [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Boundaries, Coaching, Communication, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Family, Friendship, Growing up, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Listening, Personal growth, Reactivity, Recovery, Relationships, Responsive people, Teenagers, Victims, Voice, Womanhood, Young Love | Tagged: Family, Friendship, Love, men and women, power of friendships | 2 Comments »

This is coming from someone who’s about 6 months away from his 25th wedding anniversary. I apologize in advance for the long response.
First of all, this is the kind of issue that can be extraordinarily complicated. We (humans) bring a lot of stuff to the table when we develop emotional and physical intimacy, and some [...]

Filed under: Personal growth | No Comments »

New book: $11.00 delivers it to your door.

Filed under: Personal growth | Tagged: Children, good manners, Manners, middle school, School, schools, teachers, young people, youth | No Comments »

Dear Corrine:
You write about the crowded room of blogging and so I wanted to tell you how I got started. I never set out to blog. In fact I’d never read one until it was my own.
Here’s the brief story: I was writing a weekly editorial column for The Indianapolis Star but REALLY wanted to [...]

Filed under: Coaching, Communication, Community, Personal growth, Voice | Tagged: advice, help columns, how to, newspapers, Rod Smith | 4 Comments »

From Rod and the children. Thanks for the huge support this site has enjoyed. May you have deep and wonderful fun in all of your relationships over the holiday season and into the new year.

Filed under: Personal growth | 5 Comments »