Posted on June 3, 2008 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
“My son’s father and I broke up before I found out that I was pregnant. There were minimal monetary contributions for 3 months after my son, now 13, was born. He wanted me to abort but I refused. My son has never asked me about his father and so I have never told him anything. [...]
Filed under: Abuse, Adolescence, Adoption, Communication, Dads, Difficult Relationships, Forgiveness, Grace, Parenting/Children, Past relationships | Tagged: abortion, parenting, secrets | 1 Comment »
Posted on November 29, 2007 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
It is in us to love. It’s human. We have the capacity for it. Even hurt and rejected people can love. Once a person accepts that love has more than romantic connotations, as powerful and valid as these of course are, he or she will be able to see its broader power.
Love is unleashed through [...]
Filed under: Anger, Anxiety, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Cheating, Children, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Double standards, Faith, Family, Generosity, Grace, Growing up, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Listening, Long distance relationships, Love, Marriage, Meditation, Past relationships, Personal growth, Re-marriage, Recovery, Sexual abuse, Sexual compatibility, Therapeutic Process, Toxic Relationships, Triggers, Trust, Victims, Voice, Weddings, Womanhood, Young Love | Tagged: courage, Family, healing, hurt, husband, Love, wife | 4 Comments »
Posted on October 25, 2007 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
“My wife spends a lot of time at home because of family commitments and I understand that she needs to circulate with other people. When she does go out she seems to go over the top and stays out late. She doesn’t want to talk to, stating that she knows everything about me. When she [...]
Filed under: Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Divorce, Domination, Home, Intimidation, Jealousy, Listening, Living together, Manipulation, Marriage, Past relationships, Schnarch, Triggers, Trust, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: better life, Counseling, counselling, future, husband, Marriage, passionate marriage, pre-marriage, Schnarch, wife | 2 Comments »
Posted on October 10, 2007 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
Are you emotionally out of shape? Psychologically exhausted? Tramped on? Feel trapped? Just as a person can be physically run down, so also can one become emotionally depleted. Here are simple, not easy, steps to getting your internal life into shape. Each will do your internal life as much good as frequent exercise does for [...]
Filed under: Alcoholism, Anger, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Cheating, Children, Coaching, Communication, Community, Control issues, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Divorce, Domination, Double standards, Family, First date, Flirting, Forgiveness, Friendship, Growing up, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Intimidation, Jealousy, Listening, Living together, Long distance relationships, Marriage, Marriage and in-laws, Meditation, Parenting/Children, Past relationships, Personal growth, Pornography, Re-marriage, Reactivity, Recovery, Relationships, Sexual abuse, Sexual compatibility, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: , drink, drunk, emotional, exhausted, help, Marriage, remarriage, tired | 7 Comments »
Posted on August 29, 2007 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
Healthy people seldom engage in friendships that are more work than necessary, and have little or no problem cutting ties when a friendship becomes over-taxing, overly demanding or draining. Friendship is supposed to be enjoyable and thus, whenever any of the following occur in a friendship, I’d suggest it is time to cut and run. [...]
Filed under: Attraction, Authentic love, Coaching, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Faith, Family, Friendship, Insight, Interpersonal intimacy, Jealousy, Meditation, Past relationships, Therapeutic Process, Toxic Relationships, Trust | No Comments »
Posted on June 6, 2007 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
“My second marriage did not withstand the pressures of blending a family. I recommend professional family counseling for all who try. The divorce rate amongst couples with children from previous marriages outpaces the horrendous rate of first time marriages.
“My stepson viewed me as the enemy. I represented the deathblow to his fantasy that [...]
Filed under: Adolescence, Blended families, Difficult Relationships, Parenting/Children, Past relationships, Stepfather, Stepmother | 3 Comments »
Posted on April 11, 2007 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
When your child (13 to 15) becomes involved in his/her first romantic attachment, with a person of similar age, please remember:
1. The experience is authentic for your child, and, while you might consider it “puppy love” the relationship ought to be given due respect.
2. If you trivialize his or her experience by your words or [...]
Filed under: Adolescence, Attraction, Authentic love, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Parenting/Children, Past relationships, Teenagers, Voice, Young Love | 2 Comments »
Posted on March 7, 2007 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
READER QUESTION: Mine is an action-packed story of a marriage of 30 years. It has yielded wonderful children and grand children. Outwardly we are a normal, peaceful family. However, unnoticed by all, was an unfortunate and stressful issue of a wife, who experienced a hormone imbalance issue, which culminated her entertaining several extra marital affairs. Fortunately, [...]
Filed under: Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Cheating, Communication, Compatibility, Control issues, Disrespect, Divorce, Domination, Double standards, Interpersonal intimacy, Jealousy, Past relationships, Reactivity, Recovery, Relationships | 1 Comment »
Posted on February 27, 2007 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
QUESTION: My girlfriend was very sexually active before we met. Jealousy often rages in me. She won’t tell me about any of her past relationships and it feels to me like she still prefers other men.
ROD’S REPLY: I predict that the more this eats at you, the more you will want to know. The more [...]
Filed under: Abuse, Anxiety, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Communication, Compatibility, Control issues, Differentiation, Disrespect, Domination, Forgiveness, Past relationships, Penis propelled, Relationships, Sex education, Sex matters, Sexual abuse, Sexual compatibility, Space, Spousal abuse, Therapeutic Process, Toxic Relationships, Triggers, Trust, Victims, Violence | 3 Comments »
Posted on January 17, 2007 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
“To the so-called “friend” (You and Me, January 15, 2007) who wants to tell my husband about my ‘affair’ all I can say is that you are not friend enough to know the facts. You are an acquaintance but I would not describe you as my friend.
“To the outside world we are getting divorced because [...]
Filed under: Abuse, Affairs, Anger, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Communication, Community, Control issues, Differentiation, Disrespect, Divorce, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Intimidation, Jealousy, Listening, Love, Manipulation, Marriage, Past relationships, Spousal abuse, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Violence, Voice | 2 Comments »
