Difficult Relationships / Rod E. Smith

You advise women to stand up to their jealous or controlling husbands. Don’t you know the Bible says wives must submit to husbands?
I do. Paul says, “wives submit to your husbands,” and one can safely assume Paul is addressing all of his writings to both men and women. A husband who loves according to Paul [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Love, Manipulation, Marriage, Trust, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: body, husbands, Love, Marriage, mother, mutuality, respect, sex, submit, truth, wife | 8 Comments »

Reader asks: There’s a counselor who works out of my wife’s church counseling center who is a Christian sex therapist. If I decide to consult with him, what sort of questions should I ask him in an initial contact? What might I expect from a competent counselor in an initial visit?
Rod responds: I’d be more [...]

Filed under: Attraction, Authentic love, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Listening, Living together, Love, Manipulation | Tagged: are we suited, compatible, he wants sex, husband, Love, Marriage, sex, wife | No Comments »

The successful, or enriched woman …..
1. Knows she never has to participate in sexual activity that she does not want; and knows that her body is her own and private temple which she shares, even in marriage, only when it is by her own sacred, deliberate choice.
2. Does not lose herself in her marriage, or [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Faith, Family, Love, Manipulation, Marriage, Womanhood | Tagged: body, Love, mother, mutuality, respect, sex, truth, wife | 12 Comments »

Conditions under which counseling or therapy will be of most value….
1. Neither client nor therapist exaggerates therapist’s abilities or the client’s condition.
2. Therapist sees role as helping client steer toward a more productive, healthy future.
3. Client sees the “big picture” over the “long haul” rather immediate relief in the “here and now.” (Patience, patience, patience).
4. [...]

Filed under: Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Blended families, Books, Boundaries, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Divorce, Domination, Education, Family, Forgiveness, Friendship, High maintenance relationships, Love, Manipulation, Marriage, Re-marriage, Recovery, Relationships, Responsive people, Second marriages, Sexual compatibility, Step parenting, Teenagers, Therapeutic Process, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Voice, Young Love | Tagged: affair, Counseling, Family, father, help, lover, Money, mother, parents, sex, therapy, time, waste | 7 Comments »

“My wife spends a lot of time at home because of family commitments and I understand that she needs to circulate with other people. When she does go out she seems to go over the top and stays out late. She doesn’t want to talk to, stating that she knows everything about me. When she [...]

Filed under: Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Divorce, Domination, Home, Intimidation, Jealousy, Listening, Living together, Manipulation, Marriage, Past relationships, Schnarch, Triggers, Trust, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: better life, Counseling, counselling, future, husband, Marriage, passionate marriage, pre-marriage, Schnarch, wife | 2 Comments »

I am married to a very jealous man and, although I am completely faithful, I am accused of all kinds of things all the time. What can I do to help him?
Nothing. Jealousy is an individual pursuit. The one who is caught in its relentless grip is the only person who can address it. If [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Attraction, Authentic love, Boundaries, Cheating, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Divorce, Flirting, Flirts, Jealousy, Love, Manipulation, Marriage, Personal growth, Sexual compatibility, Spousal abuse, Toxic Relationships | Tagged: abused, difficult, husband is jealous, jealous, Jealousy, man, married, wife | 5 Comments »

Axioms (observations that are almost always true) for families:
A man or woman who has an open, friendly, respectful, and playful relationship with his or her own parents will seldom have problems with his or her in-laws.
Extra-marital affairs are symptoms of a troubled marriage and not the cause of trouble in a marriage.
The teenager who is [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Boundaries, Cheating, Children, Coaching, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Dads, Dating, Domination, Double standards, Education, Faith, Family, Forgiveness, Friendship, Generosity, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Listening, Living together, Long distance relationships, Manipulation, Marriage and in-laws | Tagged: Affairs, disfunction, help, Relationships, sex | 2 Comments »

I am in a “friendship” that is too much. A co-worker wants all of my time. She wants me to phone her to see if she is having a good day (she’s an office away!) and then when I do she says I am only doing it because I know she wants me to – [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Boundaries, Friendship, Growing up, Happiness, Interpersonal intimacy, Jealousy, Love, Manipulation, Personal growth, Space, Therapeutic Process, Voice | No Comments »

My husband’s ex-wife seems to take their divorce lightly. There is a need for communication because of my step-daughter, however, she has become almost “too friendly” with me. For instance, she will call me up and say, “How is my ex-husband?” She is also cultivating an affection towards our kids, which makes it feel like [...]

Filed under: Anger, Authentic love, Blended families, Boundaries, Children, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Divorce, Double standards, Happiness, Living together, Love, Manipulation, Marriage, Toxic Relationships, Triggers, Trust, Voice | No Comments »

“Our daughter has now been married for three years to her second husband. The marriage has broken down horribly. After one counseling session he refuses to go again. He is totally absorbed in his work, sometimes doesn’t even go to bed at night. He verbally abuses and finds fault with everything our daughter says or [...]

Filed under: Anger, Authentic love, Blended families, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, In-laws, Love, Manipulation, Marriage, Relationships, Second marriages, Toxic Relationships, Triggers, Trust, Victims, Voice | 4 Comments »