Difficult Relationships / Rod E. Smith

1. Your courage, determination and your willingness to fully live, your ability and willingness to employ all of your skills and expedite your wildest ambitions, will go a long way toward compensating for the absence of the other parent.
2. Being debilitated by the absence of a partner, living as if a successful life is impossible [...]

Filed under: Blended families, Boundaries, Children, Community, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Love, Parenting/Children, Relationships, Single parenting, Stepfather, Stepmother, Teenagers, Voice | Tagged: children of divorce, Dads, Family, moms, separation, Single parenting, solo-parenting | 1 Comment »

Deliver your own news – good or bad. Don’t use others as carrier pigeons.
Try not to keep people waiting. While it is sometimes unavoidable, effort on your part to be punctual will speak volumes about you.
Find a way to remember people’s names. You’ll be surprised how much it will do for you.
Spend less than you [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Growing up, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Love, Relationships, Responsive people | Tagged: getting better, hope, Love, Relationships, Trust, truth, wellness | 4 Comments »

You advise women to stand up to their jealous or controlling husbands. Don’t you know the Bible says wives must submit to husbands?
I do. Paul says, “wives submit to your husbands,” and one can safely assume Paul is addressing all of his writings to both men and women. A husband who loves according to Paul [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Love, Manipulation, Marriage, Trust, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: body, husbands, Love, Marriage, mother, mutuality, respect, sex, submit, truth, wife | 8 Comments »

Reader asks: There’s a counselor who works out of my wife’s church counseling center who is a Christian sex therapist. If I decide to consult with him, what sort of questions should I ask him in an initial contact? What might I expect from a competent counselor in an initial visit?
Rod responds: I’d be more [...]

Filed under: Attraction, Authentic love, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Listening, Living together, Love, Manipulation | Tagged: are we suited, compatible, he wants sex, husband, Love, Marriage, sex, wife | No Comments »

It is in us to love. It’s human. We have the capacity for it. Even hurt and rejected people can love. Once a person accepts that love has more than romantic connotations, as powerful and valid as these of course are, he or she will be able to see its broader power.
Love is unleashed through [...]

Filed under: Anger, Anxiety, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Cheating, Children, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Double standards, Faith, Family, Generosity, Grace, Growing up, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Listening, Long distance relationships, Love, Marriage, Meditation, Past relationships, Personal growth, Re-marriage, Recovery, Sexual abuse, Sexual compatibility, Therapeutic Process, Toxic Relationships, Triggers, Trust, Victims, Voice, Weddings, Womanhood, Young Love | Tagged: courage, Family, healing, hurt, husband, Love, wife | 4 Comments »

The successful, or enriched woman …..
1. Knows she never has to participate in sexual activity that she does not want; and knows that her body is her own and private temple which she shares, even in marriage, only when it is by her own sacred, deliberate choice.
2. Does not lose herself in her marriage, or [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Faith, Family, Love, Manipulation, Marriage, Womanhood | Tagged: body, Love, mother, mutuality, respect, sex, truth, wife | 12 Comments »

Conditions under which counseling or therapy will be of most value….
1. Neither client nor therapist exaggerates therapist’s abilities or the client’s condition.
2. Therapist sees role as helping client steer toward a more productive, healthy future.
3. Client sees the “big picture” over the “long haul” rather immediate relief in the “here and now.” (Patience, patience, patience).
4. [...]

Filed under: Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Blended families, Books, Boundaries, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Divorce, Domination, Education, Family, Forgiveness, Friendship, High maintenance relationships, Love, Manipulation, Marriage, Re-marriage, Recovery, Relationships, Responsive people, Second marriages, Sexual compatibility, Step parenting, Teenagers, Therapeutic Process, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Voice, Young Love | Tagged: affair, Counseling, Family, father, help, lover, Money, mother, parents, sex, therapy, time, waste | 7 Comments »

“I am married and have three teenage sons. We are compatible, except in one area that threatens everything. I don’t drink at all and don’t like social situations where there is too much drinking or being around drunk people. He enjoys a ‘party’ or having a few beers a couple of times a week. Very [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Alcoholism, Difficult Relationships, Divorce, Home, Insight, Interpersonal intimacy, Love, Relationships, Teenagers, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: alcohol, Divorce, drunk, famaily, help, husband, mother, son, Voice, wife | 5 Comments »

“Three years ago our pre-marriage counselor used a few of your columns to get us talking. I was annoyed because they made our engagement seem so business-like and so un-romantic. It seemed very cold to discuss money when you feel so in love. Now I can see how important it was to talk about money [...]

Filed under: Attraction, Authentic love, Boundaries, Coaching, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Differentiation, High maintenance relationships, Home, Listening, Living together, Love, Marriage, Marriage and in-laws, Money, Personal growth, Responsive people, Spousal abuse, Teenagers, Toxic Relationships, Violence, Voice, Weddings | Tagged: better life, Counseling, counselling, future, husband, Marriage, pre-marriage, wife | 1 Comment »

1. Are we spiritually, financially, psychologically, and emotionally, sufficiently suited to each other?
2. Do our long-held, individual, long-term, personal goals and personal dreams somewhat fit with each other?
3. What do we each imagine is possible for us to achieve (service to the poor, overseas travel, learning [...]

Filed under: Attraction, Blended families, Boundaries, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Differentiation, Divorce, Education, Family, Generosity, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Listening, Love, Marriage, Marriage and in-laws, Money, Re-marriage, Relationships, Sexual compatibility, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Voice, Weddings | Tagged: , boyfriend, Compatibility, debt, Divorce, girlfriend, help, Love, Marriage, Money, new, questions | 1 Comment »