Difficult Relationships / Rod E. Smith

It is in us to love. It’s human. We have the capacity for it. Even hurt and rejected people can love. Once a person accepts that love has more than romantic connotations, as powerful and valid as these of course are, he or she will be able to see its broader power.
Love is unleashed through [...]

Filed under: Anger, Anxiety, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Cheating, Children, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Double standards, Faith, Family, Generosity, Grace, Growing up, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Listening, Long distance relationships, Love, Marriage, Meditation, Past relationships, Personal growth, Re-marriage, Recovery, Sexual abuse, Sexual compatibility, Therapeutic Process, Toxic Relationships, Triggers, Trust, Victims, Voice, Weddings, Womanhood, Young Love | Tagged: courage, Family, healing, hurt, husband, Love, wife | 4 Comments »

The power and sacredness of sex …
Morality, religious beliefs, and family values and expectations aside, which, by the way I believe is impossible to do, don’t have sex with a person whom you do not know, and are not committed to in every area of your life, for the long haul.
To say “it (sex) is [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Divorce, Domination, Double standards, Flirting, Flirts, Forgiveness, Friendship, Generosity, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Intimidation, Listening, Living together, Long distance relationships, Triggers, Trust, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: best sex, Divorce, emotional cripple, growth, help, husband, life, Marriage, sex, wheelchair | No Comments »

Are you emotionally out of shape? Psychologically exhausted? Tramped on? Feel trapped? Just as a person can be physically run down, so also can one become emotionally depleted. Here are simple, not easy, steps to getting your internal life into shape. Each will do your internal life as much good as frequent exercise does for [...]

Filed under: Alcoholism, Anger, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Cheating, Children, Coaching, Communication, Community, Control issues, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Divorce, Domination, Double standards, Family, First date, Flirting, Forgiveness, Friendship, Growing up, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Intimidation, Jealousy, Listening, Living together, Long distance relationships, Marriage, Marriage and in-laws, Meditation, Parenting/Children, Past relationships, Personal growth, Pornography, Re-marriage, Reactivity, Recovery, Relationships, Sexual abuse, Sexual compatibility, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: , drink, drunk, emotional, exhausted, help, Marriage, remarriage, tired | 7 Comments »

Axioms (observations that are almost always true) for families:
A man or woman who has an open, friendly, respectful, and playful relationship with his or her own parents will seldom have problems with his or her in-laws.
Extra-marital affairs are symptoms of a troubled marriage and not the cause of trouble in a marriage.
The teenager who is [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Boundaries, Cheating, Children, Coaching, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Dads, Dating, Domination, Double standards, Education, Faith, Family, Forgiveness, Friendship, Generosity, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Listening, Living together, Long distance relationships, Manipulation, Marriage and in-laws | Tagged: Affairs, disfunction, help, Relationships, sex | 2 Comments »

Unhealthy patterns occur in relationships when a person …

Does not sufficiently, or successfully, sever and recover from a previous romantic relationship before a new one begins. (Commonly referred to as “rebounding.”)
Embraces a false, or faulty, definition of love.
Gives the relationship an inordinate amount of attention. (This is seen when someone seems to disappear – becomes [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Anger, Anxiety, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Cheating, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Differentiation, Divorce, Domination, Forgiveness, High maintenance relationships, Intimidation, Jealousy, Listening, Long distance relationships, Penis propelled, Personal contact, Pornography, Sex education, Sex matters, Sexual compatibility, Single parenting, Space, Spousal abuse, Therapeutic Process, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Violence, Voice | 1 Comment »

Twelve ways to have a fulfilling day…
 

Surrender the illusion of control you have over everyone you love.
Trust your instincts when they point you toward doing something good for those who least expect it of you.
Say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ a lot.
Look across the restaurant and then, having chosen someone, collude with your waiter to pay [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Communication, Community, Differentiation, Faith, Listening, Long distance relationships, Parenting/Children, Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Voice | 1 Comment »

Reader: My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years. At first I was the one who messed around with my ex-girlfriend. I was young and couldn’t let go. However, she stood strong and gave me another chance. Since that day something inside me changed. It was almost as she re-instilled my morals. I [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Anxiety, Attraction, Long distance relationships, Relationships, Toxic Relationships | No Comments »

Reader’s Question: My boyfriend says we have to have sex to see if we are sexually compatible before he will continue seeing me. What do you think?
Rod’s Answer: What an old and ridiculous line. Move on! Your boyfriend is what I call a “pp” or “penis propelled.” If you really want to assess sexual [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Affairs, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Communication, Compatibility, Dating, Disrespect, Family, First date, Flirting, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Listening, Long distance relationships, Past relationships, Penis propelled, Personal contact, Personal growth, Pornography, Re-marriage, Second marriages, Sex education, Sex matters, Sexual abuse, Sexual compatibility, Space, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Violence, Voice, Weddings, Young Love | 4 Comments »

Give each other several days of notice before you sit down and answer these questions about your relationship.
Make brief notes before you talk. Agree to be completely silent while listening to each person respond to each question.
“Volatile” couples might choose to talk in a crowded restaurant where they are less likely to erupt! [...]

Filed under: Communication, Differentiation, Faith, Family, Growing up, Happiness, Long distance relationships, Love, Marriage, Past relationships, Personal growth, Re-marriage, Therapeutic Process | 1 Comment »

Q: Regarding long-distance relationships a reader writes: “Does sitting by the phone, waiting for the other person to call, every day, even when they don’t call, mean you are dependent and heading towards an unhealthy relationship?”
A: Your behavior does not necessarily suggest you are “dependent and heading towards an unhealthy relationship.” Good friends frequently wait [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Communication, Control issues, Dating, Long distance relationships, Love, Manipulation, Toxic Relationships | No Comments »