Difficult Relationships / Rod E. Smith

Reader asks: There’s a counselor who works out of my wife’s church counseling center who is a Christian sex therapist. If I decide to consult with him, what sort of questions should I ask him in an initial contact? What might I expect from a competent counselor in an initial visit?
Rod responds: I’d be more [...]

Filed under: Attraction, Authentic love, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Listening, Living together, Love, Manipulation | Tagged: are we suited, compatible, he wants sex, husband, Love, Marriage, sex, wife | No Comments »

“I met a woman a year ago and we are engaged. She very good friends with her ex-husband because neither has other family. Although he is very good to his daughter, and because my fiancé and he are still close, I find it hard to feel appreciated. They are used to having each other to [...]

Filed under: Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Flirting, Forgiveness, Friendship, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Home, Interpersonal intimacy, Intimidation, Jealousy, Listening, Living together | Tagged: ex, husband, Jealousy, Marriage, wife | 2 Comments »

“I have been struggling for months. When can one say that they are ready for marriage and how long must you date to take that step? I have been dating this guy for the past five years and we have a son together. I can officially say I’ve met the person I want to spend [...]

Filed under: Attraction, Authentic love, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Living together, Marriage, Parenting/Children | Tagged: best sex, Divorce, emotional cripple, growth, help, husband, life, Marriage, sex, wheelchair | 5 Comments »

The power and sacredness of sex …
Morality, religious beliefs, and family values and expectations aside, which, by the way I believe is impossible to do, don’t have sex with a person whom you do not know, and are not committed to in every area of your life, for the long haul.
To say “it (sex) is [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Divorce, Domination, Double standards, Flirting, Flirts, Forgiveness, Friendship, Generosity, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Intimidation, Listening, Living together, Long distance relationships, Triggers, Trust, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: best sex, Divorce, emotional cripple, growth, help, husband, life, Marriage, sex, wheelchair | No Comments »

“My wife spends a lot of time at home because of family commitments and I understand that she needs to circulate with other people. When she does go out she seems to go over the top and stays out late. She doesn’t want to talk to, stating that she knows everything about me. When she [...]

Filed under: Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Divorce, Domination, Home, Intimidation, Jealousy, Listening, Living together, Manipulation, Marriage, Past relationships, Schnarch, Triggers, Trust, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: better life, Counseling, counselling, future, husband, Marriage, passionate marriage, pre-marriage, Schnarch, wife | 2 Comments »

Are you emotionally out of shape? Psychologically exhausted? Tramped on? Feel trapped? Just as a person can be physically run down, so also can one become emotionally depleted. Here are simple, not easy, steps to getting your internal life into shape. Each will do your internal life as much good as frequent exercise does for [...]

Filed under: Alcoholism, Anger, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Cheating, Children, Coaching, Communication, Community, Control issues, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Divorce, Domination, Double standards, Family, First date, Flirting, Forgiveness, Friendship, Growing up, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Intimidation, Jealousy, Listening, Living together, Long distance relationships, Marriage, Marriage and in-laws, Meditation, Parenting/Children, Past relationships, Personal growth, Pornography, Re-marriage, Reactivity, Recovery, Relationships, Sexual abuse, Sexual compatibility, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: , drink, drunk, emotional, exhausted, help, Marriage, remarriage, tired | 7 Comments »

Why is gambling such an addiction (drugs I understand!)?
Where a “big win” is presented as real possibility (thus the publicity afforded “big wins” the “common” gambler is encouraged to believe the day will come when he or she will win the jackpot.
Gambling is self-defeating for the obvious reason: the stakes are high, and so [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Alcoholism, Authentic love, Boundaries, Difficult Relationships, Grace, Interpersonal intimacy, Intimidation, Living together, Relationships, Victims, Violence | Tagged: addictions, alcohol, Divorce, drink, drunk, gambling, help, husband, Recovery, wife | No Comments »

“Three years ago our pre-marriage counselor used a few of your columns to get us talking. I was annoyed because they made our engagement seem so business-like and so un-romantic. It seemed very cold to discuss money when you feel so in love. Now I can see how important it was to talk about money [...]

Filed under: Attraction, Authentic love, Boundaries, Coaching, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Differentiation, High maintenance relationships, Home, Listening, Living together, Love, Marriage, Marriage and in-laws, Money, Personal growth, Responsive people, Spousal abuse, Teenagers, Toxic Relationships, Violence, Voice, Weddings | Tagged: better life, Counseling, counselling, future, husband, Marriage, pre-marriage, wife | 1 Comment »

Axioms (observations that are almost always true) for families:
A man or woman who has an open, friendly, respectful, and playful relationship with his or her own parents will seldom have problems with his or her in-laws.
Extra-marital affairs are symptoms of a troubled marriage and not the cause of trouble in a marriage.
The teenager who is [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Boundaries, Cheating, Children, Coaching, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Dads, Dating, Domination, Double standards, Education, Faith, Family, Forgiveness, Friendship, Generosity, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Listening, Living together, Long distance relationships, Manipulation, Marriage and in-laws | Tagged: Affairs, disfunction, help, Relationships, sex | 2 Comments »

http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/marrying-whats-the-rush
“You’re good looking. How come nobody ever married YOU?’
I was 20. The question was asked by Mickey – I’ll never forget his name – at a wedding. I was maid of honor for the fifth time that year for friends who had achieved the honor of someone marrying them!
I felt so shamed. [...]

Filed under: Attraction, Authentic love, Boundaries, First date, Happiness, Living together, Love, Marriage, Personal growth, Re-marriage, Voice, Young Love | No Comments »