Difficult Relationships / Rod E. Smith

“I am sorry I have facilitated your insecurities by allowing your jealousy to influence my behavior. I will try not to do this anymore. It is not good for either of us. Walking on egg-shells is not how I like to spend my energy.”
“Going out to dinner with my friends (daughter, son, mother, father, brother, [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Anger, Attraction, Difficult Relationships, Domination, Interpersonal intimacy, Jealousy, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: abused, difficult, husband is jealous, jealous, Jealousy, man, married, wife | 4 Comments »

Jealousy will remove purity from your relationship. Since jealousy expresses the very opposite of trust, once the jealousy virus entrenches itself (which it usually does perversely in the name of love) you and your relationship will become something you do not want to be. Freedom will be displaced by resentment.
The jealous person will behave in [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Control issues, High maintenance relationships, Jealousy, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: controlling behavior, Jealousy | 3 Comments »

“Hi Ladies, just a bit of advice, if your husband says he doesn’t want to be married or doesn’t love you anymore, as much as it hurts, the best thing you can do is nothing. Go about your business, act happy, be nice, don’t beg, don’t plead, don’t cry and make him try to feel [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Anger, Authentic love, Intimidation, Jealousy, Listening, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Voice | Tagged: affair, debate, discuss, Divorce, Family, husband, no sex marriage, power, sex, talk, wife | 11 Comments »

“I want to save my marriage. Our situation has risen to a new level with issues of jealously and trust. He takes my car keys, he checks up on me, I no longer have friends around, and am no longer allowed ‘ladies nights.’ My brother is not allowed to visit. My husband doesn’t want children. [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Alcoholism, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Divorce, Domination, Double standards, Grief, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Intimidation, Jealousy | Tagged: better life, Counseling, counselling, future, husband, Marriage, passionate marriage, pre-marriage, Schnarch, wife | 4 Comments »

Jealousy serves no useful purpose. Jealous men (in my experience it is often men) have tried to tell me it comes with love.
Nonsense.

Ugliness is never a symptom of love.
Placated (or appeased, or entertained) jealousy won’t dissipate. It will grow, yes grow, and become increasingly demanding.
A woman who allows a lover’s jealousy to “work,” [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Anger, Attraction, Boundaries, Cheating, Control issues, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Insight, Interpersonal intimacy, Intimidation, Jealousy, Personal growth, Voice | Tagged: anguish, Family, High maintenance relationships, Jealousy, Love, Manipulation, sex | 7 Comments »

“I met a woman a year ago and we are engaged. She very good friends with her ex-husband because neither has other family. Although he is very good to his daughter, and because my fiancé and he are still close, I find it hard to feel appreciated. They are used to having each other to [...]

Filed under: Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Flirting, Forgiveness, Friendship, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Home, Interpersonal intimacy, Intimidation, Jealousy, Listening, Living together | Tagged: ex, husband, Jealousy, Marriage, wife | 2 Comments »

“My wife spends a lot of time at home because of family commitments and I understand that she needs to circulate with other people. When she does go out she seems to go over the top and stays out late. She doesn’t want to talk to, stating that she knows everything about me. When she [...]

Filed under: Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Divorce, Domination, Home, Intimidation, Jealousy, Listening, Living together, Manipulation, Marriage, Past relationships, Schnarch, Triggers, Trust, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: better life, Counseling, counselling, future, husband, Marriage, passionate marriage, pre-marriage, Schnarch, wife | 2 Comments »

Are you emotionally out of shape? Psychologically exhausted? Tramped on? Feel trapped? Just as a person can be physically run down, so also can one become emotionally depleted. Here are simple, not easy, steps to getting your internal life into shape. Each will do your internal life as much good as frequent exercise does for [...]

Filed under: Alcoholism, Anger, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Cheating, Children, Coaching, Communication, Community, Control issues, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Divorce, Domination, Double standards, Family, First date, Flirting, Forgiveness, Friendship, Growing up, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Intimidation, Jealousy, Listening, Living together, Long distance relationships, Marriage, Marriage and in-laws, Meditation, Parenting/Children, Past relationships, Personal growth, Pornography, Re-marriage, Reactivity, Recovery, Relationships, Sexual abuse, Sexual compatibility, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: , drink, drunk, emotional, exhausted, help, Marriage, remarriage, tired | 7 Comments »

“My husband’s venting has gotten out of control and I’m considering a divorce. Talking about it yet it ends up in a fight. When I first met him, there were times I had to put down the phone and take a walk. It drained me. I married him, only to find out this venting was [...]

Filed under: Anger, Authentic love, Betrayal, Dating, Differentiation, Disrespect, Intimidation, Jealousy, Sex matters, Trust, Violence, Voice | Tagged: Anger, husband, Love, Manipulation, Marriage, sex, venting, wife | No Comments »

I am married to a very jealous man and, although I am completely faithful, I am accused of all kinds of things all the time. What can I do to help him?
Nothing. Jealousy is an individual pursuit. The one who is caught in its relentless grip is the only person who can address it. If [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Attraction, Authentic love, Boundaries, Cheating, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Divorce, Flirting, Flirts, Jealousy, Love, Manipulation, Marriage, Personal growth, Sexual compatibility, Spousal abuse, Toxic Relationships | Tagged: abused, difficult, husband is jealous, jealous, Jealousy, man, married, wife | 5 Comments »