Difficult Relationships / Rod E. Smith

“I am sorry I have facilitated your insecurities by allowing your jealousy to influence my behavior. I will try not to do this anymore. It is not good for either of us. Walking on egg-shells is not how I like to spend my energy.”
“Going out to dinner with my friends (daughter, son, mother, father, brother, [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Anger, Attraction, Difficult Relationships, Domination, Interpersonal intimacy, Jealousy, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: abused, difficult, husband is jealous, jealous, Jealousy, man, married, wife | 4 Comments »

“My ex-wife still tries to dominate me and interfere in my life. I have moved on and have a new woman. My teenage daughter and I have a very good relationship but whenever my ex-wife is around I am reminded why I divorced her. How do I get her to understand she is divorced and [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Communication, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Divorce, Family, High maintenance relationships, Insight, Interpersonal intimacy | Tagged: boyfriend, Dating, ex, girlfriend, Past relationships, sex | 2 Comments »

“My parents are heavy smokers and I don’t want them smoking in my home. I am Biblically constrained to obey my parents and therefore feel I cannot ask them not to smoke when they visit me. Please help.” (Letter shortened)
You are an adult and therefore you are not “Biblically constrained to obey” your parents. Children [...]

Filed under: Biblical living, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Victims, Voice | Tagged: parents, permission, smoking, smoking in my home | 1 Comment »

Did you hear about the mother who complained her children were always in her hair? Now that her son and daughter are adults she can’t get them to return her phone calls. They are out of much more than her hair.
What about the dad who buried himself in his work just to find some [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Blended families, Boundaries, Coaching, Communication, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Insight, Interpersonal intimacy, Parenting/Children | Tagged: career, father, loneliness, mother, parenting | 2 Comments »

1. Be aware of the unique, honored position I have in your life, and regard it with the respect it deserves.
2. Hear you, even if you are telling me things I’d rather you not say.
3. Be willing to disagree with you, when, in my estimation, you are wrong, off target, or unfair in your actions [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Boundaries, Coaching, Communication, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Family, Friendship, Growing up, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Listening, Personal growth, Reactivity, Recovery, Relationships, Responsive people, Teenagers, Victims, Voice, Womanhood, Young Love | Tagged: Family, Friendship, Love, men and women, power of friendships | 2 Comments »

“I want to save my marriage. Our situation has risen to a new level with issues of jealously and trust. He takes my car keys, he checks up on me, I no longer have friends around, and am no longer allowed ‘ladies nights.’ My brother is not allowed to visit. My husband doesn’t want children. [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Alcoholism, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Divorce, Domination, Double standards, Grief, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Intimidation, Jealousy | Tagged: better life, Counseling, counselling, future, husband, Marriage, passionate marriage, pre-marriage, Schnarch, wife | 4 Comments »

It is in us to love. It’s human. We have the capacity for it. Even hurt and rejected people can love. Once a person accepts that love has more than romantic connotations, as powerful and valid as these of course are, he or she will be able to see its broader power.
Love is unleashed through [...]

Filed under: Anger, Anxiety, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Cheating, Children, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Double standards, Faith, Family, Generosity, Grace, Growing up, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Listening, Long distance relationships, Love, Marriage, Meditation, Past relationships, Personal growth, Re-marriage, Recovery, Sexual abuse, Sexual compatibility, Therapeutic Process, Toxic Relationships, Triggers, Trust, Victims, Voice, Weddings, Womanhood, Young Love | Tagged: courage, Family, healing, hurt, husband, Love, wife | 4 Comments »

Jealousy serves no useful purpose. Jealous men (in my experience it is often men) have tried to tell me it comes with love.
Nonsense.

Ugliness is never a symptom of love.
Placated (or appeased, or entertained) jealousy won’t dissipate. It will grow, yes grow, and become increasingly demanding.
A woman who allows a lover’s jealousy to “work,” [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Anger, Attraction, Boundaries, Cheating, Control issues, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Insight, Interpersonal intimacy, Intimidation, Jealousy, Personal growth, Voice | Tagged: anguish, Family, High maintenance relationships, Jealousy, Love, Manipulation, sex | 7 Comments »

“I met a woman a year ago and we are engaged. She very good friends with her ex-husband because neither has other family. Although he is very good to his daughter, and because my fiancé and he are still close, I find it hard to feel appreciated. They are used to having each other to [...]

Filed under: Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Flirting, Forgiveness, Friendship, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Home, Interpersonal intimacy, Intimidation, Jealousy, Listening, Living together | Tagged: ex, husband, Jealousy, Marriage, wife | 2 Comments »

“I married 26 years ago out of a sense of guilt and it has never left. We have had a very difficult marriage and yet we both have a high level of commitment.  I want a healthier relationship but I don’t know how to get it. I know a healthier relationship starts with a healthier [...]

Filed under: Anxiety, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Compatibility, Control issues, Disrespect, Divorce, Domination, Happiness, Insight, Interpersonal intimacy, Toxic Relationships, Victims | Tagged: Divorce, emotional cripple, growth, help, husband, life, Marriage, wheelchair | No Comments »