Difficult Relationships / Rod E. Smith

“My son’s father and I broke up before I found out that I was pregnant. There were minimal monetary contributions for 3 months after my son, now 13, was born. He wanted me to abort but I refused. My son has never asked me about his father and so I have never told him anything. [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Adolescence, Adoption, Communication, Dads, Difficult Relationships, Forgiveness, Grace, Parenting/Children, Past relationships | Tagged: abortion, parenting, secrets | 1 Comment »

Are you estranged from a family member? Here, modified according to your needs* and circumstances, and expressed in your own words and style, is the gist of offering a “Here I Stand” challenge:
“Here I stand, my son, despite our painful history, desiring to be a loving parent and grandparent to you and to your children. [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Blended families, Boundaries, Communication, Community, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Family, Fathers, Forgiveness, Friendship, Generosity, Grace, Recovery, Relationships, Trust, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: daughter, Forgiveness, parent, reconciliation, son | No Comments »

“My sister is living in England and she hardly ever writes or Emails the family anymore. Is it appropriate that I let her know how much our parents miss her and wish she would write and phone sometimes? We have neighbors with a son living overseas and he phones almost once a week. It makes [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Boundaries, Family, Forgiveness, Friendship, Generosity, Grace | Tagged: never calls, parents longing, phone call home, sister | No Comments »

It is in us to love. It’s human. We have the capacity for it. Even hurt and rejected people can love. Once a person accepts that love has more than romantic connotations, as powerful and valid as these of course are, he or she will be able to see its broader power.
Love is unleashed through [...]

Filed under: Anger, Anxiety, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Cheating, Children, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Double standards, Faith, Family, Generosity, Grace, Growing up, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Listening, Long distance relationships, Love, Marriage, Meditation, Past relationships, Personal growth, Re-marriage, Recovery, Sexual abuse, Sexual compatibility, Therapeutic Process, Toxic Relationships, Triggers, Trust, Victims, Voice, Weddings, Womanhood, Young Love | Tagged: courage, Family, healing, hurt, husband, Love, wife | 4 Comments »

Why is gambling such an addiction (drugs I understand!)?
Where a “big win” is presented as real possibility (thus the publicity afforded “big wins” the “common” gambler is encouraged to believe the day will come when he or she will win the jackpot.
Gambling is self-defeating for the obvious reason: the stakes are high, and so [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Alcoholism, Authentic love, Boundaries, Difficult Relationships, Grace, Interpersonal intimacy, Intimidation, Living together, Relationships, Victims, Violence | Tagged: addictions, alcohol, Divorce, drink, drunk, gambling, help, husband, Recovery, wife | No Comments »

“How do I fix a broken relationship?” is the most common theme of letters I receive. Here are a few generic principles to jumpstart the journey of greater health whether the relationship in question survives or not:
1. Don’t focus in “the relationship” but on doing what is healthy and mature for your individual sake. [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Affairs, Alcoholism, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Cheating, Coaching, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Divorce, Domination, Family, Flirting, Flirts, Forgiveness, Grace, Grief, High maintenance relationships, Intimidation, Jealousy, Listening, Living together, Sex education, Sex matters, Sexual abuse, Sexual compatibility, Single parenting, Stepfather, Stepmother, Teenagers, Therapeutic Process, Victims, Violence, Voice, Young Love | 3 Comments »

Reader: My adult son died 9 years ago. I had promised to stay at his side. The day he died, we had a lovely day, chatting, laughing at things on TV, and just being quiet. By evening I was so exhausted that I told him I was going home and would see him in the [...]

Filed under: Forgiveness, Grace, Grief, Insight, Parenting/Children, Recovery, Relationships | 5 Comments »

Making it a week of grace…
The challenge is simple: be a presence of grace and healing wherever you are.
Think ‘forgive’ not retaliation. Answer quietly, even if another roars.
Listen, even when it is something you’d rather not hear.
Resist return attacks with your own verbal volley when words are thrown at you, even [...]

Filed under: Grace | 1 Comment »