Difficult Relationships / Rod E. Smith

Are you estranged from a family member? Here, modified according to your needs* and circumstances, and expressed in your own words and style, is the gist of offering a “Here I Stand” challenge:
“Here I stand, my son, despite our painful history, desiring to be a loving parent and grandparent to you and to your children. [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Blended families, Boundaries, Communication, Community, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Family, Fathers, Forgiveness, Friendship, Generosity, Grace, Recovery, Relationships, Trust, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: daughter, Forgiveness, parent, reconciliation, son | No Comments »

“My sister is living in England and she hardly ever writes or Emails the family anymore. Is it appropriate that I let her know how much our parents miss her and wish she would write and phone sometimes? We have neighbors with a son living overseas and he phones almost once a week. It makes [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Boundaries, Family, Forgiveness, Friendship, Generosity, Grace | Tagged: never calls, parents longing, phone call home, sister | No Comments »

It is in us to love. It’s human. We have the capacity for it. Even hurt and rejected people can love. Once a person accepts that love has more than romantic connotations, as powerful and valid as these of course are, he or she will be able to see its broader power.
Love is unleashed through [...]

Filed under: Anger, Anxiety, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Cheating, Children, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Double standards, Faith, Family, Generosity, Grace, Growing up, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Listening, Long distance relationships, Love, Marriage, Meditation, Past relationships, Personal growth, Re-marriage, Recovery, Sexual abuse, Sexual compatibility, Therapeutic Process, Toxic Relationships, Triggers, Trust, Victims, Voice, Weddings, Womanhood, Young Love | Tagged: courage, Family, healing, hurt, husband, Love, wife | 4 Comments »

The power and sacredness of sex …
Morality, religious beliefs, and family values and expectations aside, which, by the way I believe is impossible to do, don’t have sex with a person whom you do not know, and are not committed to in every area of your life, for the long haul.
To say “it (sex) is [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Divorce, Domination, Double standards, Flirting, Flirts, Forgiveness, Friendship, Generosity, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Intimidation, Listening, Living together, Long distance relationships, Triggers, Trust, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: best sex, Divorce, emotional cripple, growth, help, husband, life, Marriage, sex, wheelchair | No Comments »

1. Are we spiritually, financially, psychologically, and emotionally, sufficiently suited to each other?
2. Do our long-held, individual, long-term, personal goals and personal dreams somewhat fit with each other?
3. What do we each imagine is possible for us to achieve (service to the poor, overseas travel, learning [...]

Filed under: Attraction, Blended families, Boundaries, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Differentiation, Divorce, Education, Family, Generosity, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Listening, Love, Marriage, Marriage and in-laws, Money, Re-marriage, Relationships, Sexual compatibility, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Voice, Weddings | Tagged: , boyfriend, Compatibility, debt, Divorce, girlfriend, help, Love, Marriage, Money, new, questions | 1 Comment »

Axioms (observations that are almost always true) for families:
A man or woman who has an open, friendly, respectful, and playful relationship with his or her own parents will seldom have problems with his or her in-laws.
Extra-marital affairs are symptoms of a troubled marriage and not the cause of trouble in a marriage.
The teenager who is [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Boundaries, Cheating, Children, Coaching, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Dads, Dating, Domination, Double standards, Education, Faith, Family, Forgiveness, Friendship, Generosity, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Listening, Living together, Long distance relationships, Manipulation, Marriage and in-laws | Tagged: Affairs, disfunction, help, Relationships, sex | 2 Comments »

Some “small” events pay me regular visits even twenty-five years later. I had been on a short holiday in Cape Town, and, on my return, took a dozen rolls of film to the CNA at La Lucia mall for processing.
After a prolonged wait in the line (queue), it was finally my turn at the [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Forgiveness, Generosity, Growing up, Insight, Personal growth | No Comments »

“My parents were very happily married and did everything together. My mom and dad would never go anywhere without the other. I know times have changed and every marriage is unique and I know my husband is not the same as my father, but he (my husband) thinks nothing of planning short golf trips with [...]

Filed under: Attraction, Authentic love, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Forgiveness, Generosity, Victims | 1 Comment »

Someone who loves you will…

almost always put their cellular phone off when you are together
not avoid or screen your phone calls or check up on who you have been phoning
not lie to you
make eye contact when you speak and listen to what you are saying
say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ a lot
not tell you what you [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Forgiveness, Generosity, In-laws, Interpersonal intimacy, Recovery, Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Triggers, Trust, Valentines Day, Voice | 8 Comments »

Notes from a conversation…
“I read and hear a lot of warnings to young men about how to behave with and respect women. I see almost nothing about how young men can also be hurt by women who almost always seem to cast themselves as the victims,” says David (26)
“Tell me more,” I respond.
“More than once [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Affairs, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Cheating, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Forgiveness, Generosity, Growing up, Happiness, Toxic Relationships, Triggers, Trust, Victims | 1 Comment »