Posted on December 23, 2009 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
Some things are overrated for their power to shape people. Before I am barraged with mail, kindly note I am not suggesting these things are not important. I am suggesting they are offered more power to heal or hurt than appropriate:
1. Parenting: While of course it is important parents do all they can to [...]
Filed under: Abuse, Addictions, Adolescence, Affairs, Alcoholism, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Blame, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Forgiveness, Friendship, Generosity, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Intimidation, Jealousy, Leadership, Love, Manipulation, Over Parenting, Parenting/Children, Past relationships | Leave a Comment »
Posted on November 30, 2009 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
I ran into a Durban’s own Wilson Goeda this past week, in Kailua-Kona, Hawaii. From what I can tell, as the director of Youth With a Mission in Durban, he’s doing great things for humanity.
It was refreshing for me to hear Wilson’s strong South African accent, richly peppered with Afrikaans and slang from several [...]
Filed under: Differentiation, Forgiveness, Friendship, Generosity, Grace, Meditation, Trust, Victims, Violence, Voice | 1 Comment »
Posted on November 29, 2009 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
“How do I get back into a cordial relationship with an adult son who has cut off from me because HE is abusive and angry. When we have had time it blows up in my face and he calls me the worst terms I have ever heard. He is single and lives alone. I am [...]
Filed under: Attraction, Authentic love, Boundaries, Communication, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Family, Forgiveness, Over Parenting, Parenting/Children, Personal growth, Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Voice | 1 Comment »
Posted on October 22, 2009 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
I am convinced that no matter how rough a person’s past is, or how traumatized the present might be, or how bleak or absent possibilities might seem, there is always hope for a more fulfilling future. Today I shall be an agent of hope.
I am convinced that no one is thoroughly bad (there is [...]
Filed under: Boundaries, Communication, Community, Difficult Relationships, Domination, Faith, Family, Forgiveness, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Intimidation, Leadership, Manipulation, Over Parenting, Parenting/Children, Past relationships, Personal growth, Reactivity, Recovery, Relationships, Single parenting, Space, Triggers, Trust, Victims, Violence, Voice, Womanhood, healing | 1 Comment »
Posted on June 16, 2009 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
You frequently write: “steel yourself” and “hold onto yourself” and “take up your life.” What do you mean?
Your problems cannot be “solved” or “fixed” by reading this or any column. In fact, they will not be “fixed” even if you read this column, watch Dr. Phil daily and visit a therapist on a weekly basis. [...]
Filed under: Alcoholism, Attraction, Authentic love, Boundaries, Cheating, Children, Compatibility, Control issues, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Divorce, Domination, Forgiveness, Friendship, Generosity, Grace, Growing up, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Manipulation, Marriage, Marriage and in-laws, Pornography, Re-marriage, Reactivity, Relationships, Responsive people, Schnarch | 2 Comments »
Posted on June 9, 2009 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
Healthy people are often unpredictable and free. They readily forgive. They do not dominate, manipulate, or intimidate others. True (authentic) listening occurs. No one pretends they are “okay” when they are not. Healthy people do not spend a lot of time analyzing their relationships. Friends and lovers have individual goals and shared goals. People speak [...]
Filed under: Attraction, Authentic love, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Forgiveness, Friendship, Generosity, Grace, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, healing | Leave a Comment »
