Difficult Relationships / Rod E. Smith

The power and sacredness of sex …
Morality, religious beliefs, and family values and expectations aside, which, by the way I believe is impossible to do, don’t have sex with a person whom you do not know, and are not committed to in every area of your life, for the long haul.
To say “it (sex) is [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Divorce, Domination, Double standards, Flirting, Flirts, Forgiveness, Friendship, Generosity, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Intimidation, Listening, Living together, Long distance relationships, Triggers, Trust, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: best sex, Divorce, emotional cripple, growth, help, husband, life, Marriage, sex, wheelchair | No Comments »

I am married to a very jealous man and, although I am completely faithful, I am accused of all kinds of things all the time. What can I do to help him?
Nothing. Jealousy is an individual pursuit. The one who is caught in its relentless grip is the only person who can address it. If [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Attraction, Authentic love, Boundaries, Cheating, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Divorce, Flirting, Flirts, Jealousy, Love, Manipulation, Marriage, Personal growth, Sexual compatibility, Spousal abuse, Toxic Relationships | Tagged: abused, difficult, husband is jealous, jealous, Jealousy, man, married, wife | 5 Comments »

“I really admired a man I worked with and we became friends. We exchanged phone numbers and email addresses. We’d call each other and send messages. We became very good friends. I was going to Johannesburg to visit friends so I got him a gift to express my gratitude. I told him that I had [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Flirting, Flirts | 1 Comment »

“How do I fix a broken relationship?” is the most common theme of letters I receive. Here are a few generic principles to jumpstart the journey of greater health whether the relationship in question survives or not:
1. Don’t focus in “the relationship” but on doing what is healthy and mature for your individual sake. [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Affairs, Alcoholism, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Cheating, Coaching, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Divorce, Domination, Family, Flirting, Flirts, Forgiveness, Grace, Grief, High maintenance relationships, Intimidation, Jealousy, Listening, Living together, Sex education, Sex matters, Sexual abuse, Sexual compatibility, Single parenting, Stepfather, Stepmother, Teenagers, Therapeutic Process, Victims, Violence, Voice, Young Love | 3 Comments »

I have had a number of letters about “living together.” With a few edits, here is a column published some years ago….
First, as adults, you can do whatever you both decide. But “living together” is deceptive for both persons. There is no commitment even if you say there is. Commitment is making vows in [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Difficult Relationships, Divorce, Flirts, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Living together, Toxic Relationships, Trust, Victims | 2 Comments »

Reader’s Question: I had an affair and we now live together. It was very passionate. I was the true love he’d been looking for his whole life. Being divorced myself, this was also very thrilling for me. It really was, despite all the secrecy of our relationship, and it was the time when our relationship [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Cheating, Differentiation, Disrespect, Divorce, Domination, Double standards, Flirts, Forgiveness, Intimidation, Jealousy, Love, Manipulation, Marriage | 4 Comments »

“My relationships begin well then I find out the person has a whole lot of baggage. If this continues I will be alone and never get married. Do you have any suggestions?”
 
There are worse conditions than singleness. If you do not believe me, ask any person trapped in a toxic marriage. To be lonely, and [...]

Filed under: Boundaries, Communication, Compatibility, Dating, Family, First date, Flirting, Flirts, Happiness, Humor | 3 Comments »

“My father cut out your article about dating a divorced person. I have been divorced for a little over a year and have met a ’soon-to-be-divorced’ man. To be honest I have to admit many of the points struck home. I already have a bump on my head from my first marriage. I don’t have [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Attraction, Authentic love, First date, Flirting, Flirts, Love, Relationships | No Comments »

When I addressed flirting at parties, I had no idea I’d be bombarded with so many letters. I’ve edited this letter but a very little.
Here’s an interesting approach used by a reader:
“I have a girlfriend with a strong tendency to flirt with guys on social occasions. I made comments and received a reply that [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Affairs, Flirting, Flirts, Personal growth | 4 Comments »

Recent columns about friendliness, interpreted as flirting, have generated a lot of mail. Of course I do not support deception in relationships, and of course, when a partner salaciously fishes for the attention of the opposite sex it can damage the sanctity of a committed relationship.
But open (not covert) friendliness at parties that generates [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Attraction, Authentic love, Cheating, Disrespect, Divorce, Flirting, Flirts, High maintenance relationships, Intimidation, Jealousy, Love, Manipulation, Relationships, Sex matters, Toxic Relationships, Trust | 9 Comments »