Difficult Relationships / Rod E. Smith

“I met a woman a year ago and we are engaged. She very good friends with her ex-husband because neither has other family. Although he is very good to his daughter, and because my fiancé and he are still close, I find it hard to feel appreciated. They are used to having each other to [...]

Filed under: Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Flirting, Forgiveness, Friendship, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Home, Interpersonal intimacy, Intimidation, Jealousy, Listening, Living together | Tagged: ex, husband, Jealousy, Marriage, wife | 2 Comments »

The power and sacredness of sex …
Morality, religious beliefs, and family values and expectations aside, which, by the way I believe is impossible to do, don’t have sex with a person whom you do not know, and are not committed to in every area of your life, for the long haul.
To say “it (sex) is [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Divorce, Domination, Double standards, Flirting, Flirts, Forgiveness, Friendship, Generosity, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Intimidation, Listening, Living together, Long distance relationships, Triggers, Trust, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: best sex, Divorce, emotional cripple, growth, help, husband, life, Marriage, sex, wheelchair | No Comments »

Are you emotionally out of shape? Psychologically exhausted? Tramped on? Feel trapped? Just as a person can be physically run down, so also can one become emotionally depleted. Here are simple, not easy, steps to getting your internal life into shape. Each will do your internal life as much good as frequent exercise does for [...]

Filed under: Alcoholism, Anger, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Cheating, Children, Coaching, Communication, Community, Control issues, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Divorce, Domination, Double standards, Family, First date, Flirting, Forgiveness, Friendship, Growing up, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Intimidation, Jealousy, Listening, Living together, Long distance relationships, Marriage, Marriage and in-laws, Meditation, Parenting/Children, Past relationships, Personal growth, Pornography, Re-marriage, Reactivity, Recovery, Relationships, Sexual abuse, Sexual compatibility, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: , drink, drunk, emotional, exhausted, help, Marriage, remarriage, tired | 7 Comments »

I am married to a very jealous man and, although I am completely faithful, I am accused of all kinds of things all the time. What can I do to help him?
Nothing. Jealousy is an individual pursuit. The one who is caught in its relentless grip is the only person who can address it. If [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Attraction, Authentic love, Boundaries, Cheating, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Divorce, Flirting, Flirts, Jealousy, Love, Manipulation, Marriage, Personal growth, Sexual compatibility, Spousal abuse, Toxic Relationships | Tagged: abused, difficult, husband is jealous, jealous, Jealousy, man, married, wife | 5 Comments »

“I really admired a man I worked with and we became friends. We exchanged phone numbers and email addresses. We’d call each other and send messages. We became very good friends. I was going to Johannesburg to visit friends so I got him a gift to express my gratitude. I told him that I had [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Flirting, Flirts | 1 Comment »

“How do I fix a broken relationship?” is the most common theme of letters I receive. Here are a few generic principles to jumpstart the journey of greater health whether the relationship in question survives or not:
1. Don’t focus in “the relationship” but on doing what is healthy and mature for your individual sake. [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Affairs, Alcoholism, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Cheating, Coaching, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Divorce, Domination, Family, Flirting, Flirts, Forgiveness, Grace, Grief, High maintenance relationships, Intimidation, Jealousy, Listening, Living together, Sex education, Sex matters, Sexual abuse, Sexual compatibility, Single parenting, Stepfather, Stepmother, Teenagers, Therapeutic Process, Victims, Violence, Voice, Young Love | 3 Comments »

“My relationships begin well then I find out the person has a whole lot of baggage. If this continues I will be alone and never get married. Do you have any suggestions?”
 
There are worse conditions than singleness. If you do not believe me, ask any person trapped in a toxic marriage. To be lonely, and [...]

Filed under: Boundaries, Communication, Compatibility, Dating, Family, First date, Flirting, Flirts, Happiness, Humor | 3 Comments »

“My father cut out your article about dating a divorced person. I have been divorced for a little over a year and have met a ’soon-to-be-divorced’ man. To be honest I have to admit many of the points struck home. I already have a bump on my head from my first marriage. I don’t have [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Attraction, Authentic love, First date, Flirting, Flirts, Love, Relationships | No Comments »

When I addressed flirting at parties, I had no idea I’d be bombarded with so many letters. I’ve edited this letter but a very little.
Here’s an interesting approach used by a reader:
“I have a girlfriend with a strong tendency to flirt with guys on social occasions. I made comments and received a reply that [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Affairs, Flirting, Flirts, Personal growth | 4 Comments »

Reader’s Question: My boyfriend says we have to have sex to see if we are sexually compatible before he will continue seeing me. What do you think?
Rod’s Answer: What an old and ridiculous line. Move on! Your boyfriend is what I call a “pp” or “penis propelled.” If you really want to assess sexual [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Affairs, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Communication, Compatibility, Dating, Disrespect, Family, First date, Flirting, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Listening, Long distance relationships, Past relationships, Penis propelled, Personal contact, Personal growth, Pornography, Re-marriage, Second marriages, Sex education, Sex matters, Sexual abuse, Sexual compatibility, Space, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Violence, Voice, Weddings, Young Love | 4 Comments »