Difficult Relationships / Rod E. Smith

When I’m feeling overwhelmed by the pressures of making a living, parenting my children, trying to be a helpful member of my community, I try to preempt any feelings of self-pity by counting my blessings “one by one.” There is great wisdom in the Sunday School standard, “Count your blessings.” Gratitude can change everything. Dark [...]

Filed under: Community, Education, Faith, Family | Tagged: being grateful, counting your blessings | 1 Comment »

A few times a week our son (6) comes to our bed in the night or very early in the morning. Sometimes I am so tired I have no resistance and let him sleep with us. Other times I get up and take him to his bed. I am more concerned about this than my [...]

Filed under: Boundaries, Children, Family, Fathers, Growing up, Happiness, Parenting/Children, Space, healing, mother | Tagged: child, getting up in the night, nights, own bed, sleeping | 1 Comment »

“My ex-wife still tries to dominate me and interfere in my life. I have moved on and have a new woman. My teenage daughter and I have a very good relationship but whenever my ex-wife is around I am reminded why I divorced her. How do I get her to understand she is divorced and [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Communication, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Divorce, Family, High maintenance relationships, Insight, Interpersonal intimacy | Tagged: boyfriend, Dating, ex, girlfriend, Past relationships, sex | 2 Comments »

1. Be aware of the unique, honored position I have in your life, and regard it with the respect it deserves.
2. Hear you, even if you are telling me things I’d rather you not say.
3. Be willing to disagree with you, when, in my estimation, you are wrong, off target, or unfair in your actions [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Boundaries, Coaching, Communication, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Family, Friendship, Growing up, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Listening, Personal growth, Reactivity, Recovery, Relationships, Responsive people, Teenagers, Victims, Voice, Womanhood, Young Love | Tagged: Family, Friendship, Love, men and women, power of friendships | 2 Comments »

Are you estranged from a family member? Here, modified according to your needs* and circumstances, and expressed in your own words and style, is the gist of offering a “Here I Stand” challenge:
“Here I stand, my son, despite our painful history, desiring to be a loving parent and grandparent to you and to your children. [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Blended families, Boundaries, Communication, Community, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Family, Fathers, Forgiveness, Friendship, Generosity, Grace, Recovery, Relationships, Trust, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: daughter, Forgiveness, parent, reconciliation, son | No Comments »

“I have a problem sibling. My sister and I spent four long years not talking, much to my mom’s distress, and many other years bickering. We made up, mostly for my mother. It didn’t seem fair to me that I had to humble myself and beg her to let things go (even though the whole [...]

Filed under: Children, Communication, Family | Tagged: brother, Family, mother, rivalry, siblings, sister | No Comments »

My elderly mother was very upset at Christmas because my brother (32) and I (29) are not speaking (to each other) and so we came to Christmas Day at her house at different times to make it easier for her. We didn’t plan to come at different times: it is something we’ve worked out without [...]

Filed under: Family, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Toxic Relationships | Tagged: Brothers at war, Christmas, Family, feuds, siblings, traditions | 1 Comment »

Sometimes liking (enjoying, being pleased to see) someone is even more powerful than loving someone. I’ve met a few men and women who, in trying to sound magnanimous or even holy who have declared: “I really love my son (or my husband, daughter, in-laws, pastor) but I just don’t like him (her, them) right now.”
Great! [...]

Filed under: Boundaries, Coaching, Communication, Education, Family | Tagged: healthy people, like and love, relationship | 2 Comments »

I think I was eleven. I might have been ten. I waited until Dad returned from the bar and until Mom and Dad were finished with the normal routine of shouting about his drinking and were finished with the attacks and counter attacks I had heard re-run for the full span of my life. I [...]

Filed under: Alcoholism, Anger, Authentic love, Boundaries, Communication, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Family, Fathers | Tagged: AA, Abuse, alcohol, alcoholics, Dads, drinking, moms, Recovery, sober | 2 Comments »

“I have been married a year and it has been so down. My husband prefers drinking with his loser buddies than being around any positive people. I hardly see him. I feel like we are in a very early stage of a relationship. I have been married four times, and I think I am crazy! [...]

Filed under: Attraction, Blended families, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Family | Tagged: child, choices, ex, heartbroken, husband, losers, Love, Re-marriage, Relationships, stuck, wife | 3 Comments »