Difficult Relationships / Rod E. Smith

“My boyfriend and I are about to get married. I have a problem. He’s insecure that my daughter’s father is in her life. What do I do to assure him that nothing is going on between my ex and me other than taking care of our child? What do I do?” (Edited)
It is not [...]

Filed under: Boundaries, Children, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Divorce, Growing up | No Comments »

Are you dating or married to a man who could physically harm or kill you, or harm or kill someone you love?
Dangerous relationships are easier to endure than to address, so it is not surprising that the murder of a wife, an ex-wife or lover usually takes everyone by surprise.
Secrecy, cover-up and denial are the [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Affairs, Anxiety, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Control issues, Dating, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, High maintenance relationships, Toxic Relationships, Victims | Tagged: Anger, husband, Love, Manipulation, Marriage, murder, sex, trouble, venting, Violence, wife | 4 Comments »

“I met a guy and fell in love. I moved in with him and got pregnant and started planning the wedding but then he was physically abusive so I moved home. He moved back once the baby was born when he realized what he was missing. For 8 years, he continued to waiver back and [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Affairs, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Cheating, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Dating, Triggers, Trust, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: Divorce, emotional cripple, growth, help, husband, life, living, Marriage, together, wheelchair | 2 Comments »

“My wife is having an ‘emotional affair’ with a best friend who spends more time with her than I do. He hears more about her life than I do, and is closer to her than I am. I watch this happening and over time it gets more and more intense and I am supposed to [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Cheating, Communication, Compatibility, Control issues, Dating, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Family, Toxic Relationships, Triggers, Trust, Victims | Tagged: affair, anguish, emotional, help, husband, relationship hell, wife | 10 Comments »

Reader’s question: My boyfriend says we have to have sex to see if we are sexually compatible before he will continue seeing me. What do you think?
Rod’s answer: What an old, and ridiculous line. Move on! Your boyfriend is what I call a “pp” or “penis propelled.” If you really want to assess sexual compatibility [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Alcoholism, Attraction, Cheating, Communication, Compatibility, Control issues, Dating, Difficult Relationships, Double standards, Happiness, Penis propelled, Personal growth, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: are we suited, compatible, he wants sex, husband, Love, Marriage, sex, wife | 1 Comment »

“My husband’s venting has gotten out of control and I’m considering a divorce. Talking about it yet it ends up in a fight. When I first met him, there were times I had to put down the phone and take a walk. It drained me. I married him, only to find out this venting was [...]

Filed under: Anger, Authentic love, Betrayal, Dating, Differentiation, Disrespect, Intimidation, Jealousy, Sex matters, Trust, Violence, Voice | Tagged: Anger, husband, Love, Manipulation, Marriage, sex, venting, wife | No Comments »

Axioms (observations that are almost always true) for families:
A man or woman who has an open, friendly, respectful, and playful relationship with his or her own parents will seldom have problems with his or her in-laws.
Extra-marital affairs are symptoms of a troubled marriage and not the cause of trouble in a marriage.
The teenager who is [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Boundaries, Cheating, Children, Coaching, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Dads, Dating, Domination, Double standards, Education, Faith, Family, Forgiveness, Friendship, Generosity, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Listening, Living together, Long distance relationships, Manipulation, Marriage and in-laws | Tagged: Affairs, disfunction, help, Relationships, sex | 2 Comments »

I have being dating a man for two years. I love him and I would love to marry him. His ex-girlfriend keeps interfering in our relationship. I found her business card in his car three months into our relationship but I know his friend gave it to him. I got over this and believed him. [...]

Filed under: Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Communication, Compatibility, Dating, Growing up, Happiness, High maintenance relationships | 1 Comment »

To become authentically closer to your lover, and to develop greater intimacy with that person, work conscientiously at your separateness from him or her. This is, I believe, is the most challenging behind-the-scenes issue of every intimate relationship.
“Is it possible to love you without also losing me?” expresses the inevitable tension every close relationship [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Attraction, Authentic love, Boundaries, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Dating, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Divorce, Faith, Family, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Insight, Interpersonal intimacy, Listening, Personal growth, Relationships, Second marriages, Sex education, Sex matters, Sexual abuse, Sexual compatibility, Single parenting, Therapeutic Process, Toxic Relationships, Trust, Victims, Voice, Weddings, Young Love | 8 Comments »

“I am 14 and live with my dad and stepmother. There is a guy (1 who is interested in me and my dad is against this. He wants me to have nothing to do with him and even told him not to phone the house or to phone my cell. Can he (my dad) [...]

Filed under: Control issues, Dads, Dating, Teenagers | 1 Comment »