Difficult Relationships / Rod E. Smith

“Horse and carriage” drives within you: deny either at your own peril…
A is for Autonomy*: a powerful instinctual longing within you. It’s the desire to be self-directed and separate. It is the “you” who wants to be free of all responsibilities. It is the “you” that fears absorption; the “you” who wants to let your [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Communication, Personal growth, Relationships, Voice | Tagged: autonomy, emotional health, freedom, intimacy | 2 Comments »

None of the conditions has to be ever-present to count. Even abusive relationships are sometimes trauma and pain-free. Believing the “good times” excuses the “bad times” is an error.  The presence of ONE of the following means you could benefit from immediate help.
1.    Are you secretive about your relationship so no one really knows what [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Communication, Personal growth, Voice | Tagged: Abuse, Spousal abuse, Toxic Relationships | No Comments »

“I am married and have a situation at work. A colleague, who works directly for me, is friendly with me and she keeps saying that does not want to be intimate but shows me many signs like allowing me to see the color of her underwear. She says she needs a hug and frequently and [...]

Filed under: Communication, Difficult Relationships, Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Voice | Tagged: affiars at work | 1 Comment »

We are “just friends” is often the defense used by men and woman who are on the verge of an affair, or at least a liaison that will be hurtful to a spouse. We “just work together,” says the woman to her husband about a co-worker who gets all of her attention even on weekends. [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Attraction, Communication, Difficult Relationships, Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Voice | Tagged: Affairs, Relationships, we're just friends | 2 Comments »

When a friendship is not going well, and a good discussion and reconciliation is necessary, passive-aggressive behavior can seep into a relationship. It is not always easy to identify. Here are some indicators. Find the behavior in yourself before you go looking for it in others…
1. You are spending less time with someone who is important [...]

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“My son’s father and I broke up before I found out that I was pregnant. There were minimal monetary contributions for 3 months after my son, now 13, was born. He wanted me to abort but I refused. My son has never asked me about his father and so I have never told him anything. [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Adolescence, Adoption, Communication, Dads, Difficult Relationships, Forgiveness, Grace, Parenting/Children, Past relationships | Tagged: abortion, parenting, secrets | 1 Comment »

“You often mention ‘forgiving’ or ‘forgiveness.’ Is this blanket advice even to follow when the person who has perpetrated the wrong has not apologized or asked for forgiveness. If you forgive someone who has not asked for forgiveness, are you then not letting that person get away with their bad behaviour and thus not putting [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Boundaries, Communication, Differentiation, Forgiveness, Personal growth, Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Voice | Tagged: how do I forgive, hurt, sorrow, sorry | No Comments »

Lizz,
There are a whole range of responses that men have to women being pregnant and giving birth. Difficult though it is for me to understand, I’m aware that a significant number of men find pregnant women to be unusually attractive, even to the point of becoming fantasy objects. Likewise, some men see mothers as more [...]

Filed under: Communication, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Divorce, Double standards, Penis propelled, Personal contact, Personal growth, Pornography, Rage, Re-marriage | Tagged: pregnancy | No Comments »

This evening I shall address a Mothers Day Banquet with a difference from what is usually anticipated at such events: every mother attending has already made the tough decision to allow, through adoption, another person to parent her baby. I am expecting a peaceful and somber gathering of women who rest at night knowing their [...]

Filed under: Communication, Relationships, Voice | Tagged: Adoption, Mothers Day | 2 Comments »

A reader responds:
“I help family members and they take advantage of me. Before this family came to my home, I kept a clean and organized household. Now, I am constantly telling everyone, adults included, about picking this or that up and cleaning. I end up cleaning my house daily, something I did not have to [...]

Filed under: Communication, Difficult Relationships, Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Voice | No Comments »