Difficult Relationships / Rod E. Smith

There is much debate about the disciplining of children. Here are two readers expressing contrary views. What do you think? How does it work (or not work) in your family? I welcome your responses:
“I have four kids and if one of them gets out of line I will spank their bottoms. Kids nowadays get away [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Authentic love, Child neglect, Children, Dads, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Victims | Tagged: Children, discipline, spanking | 2 Comments »

“My boyfriend and I are about to get married. I have a problem. He’s insecure that my daughter’s father is in her life. What do I do to assure him that nothing is going on between my ex and me other than taking care of our child? What do I do?” (Edited)
It is not [...]

Filed under: Boundaries, Children, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Divorce, Growing up | No Comments »

“You write, to a woman asking for help with her son that if she gets her attitude right she might see a shift in her son’s attitude. Just because she has a ‘right attitude’ it doesn’t mean her son will. It seems to me you were a little heavy handed with someone asking for your [...]

Filed under: Children, Communication, Parenting/Children | Tagged: father, mother, parenting, respect, sons | No Comments »

A few times a week our son (6) comes to our bed in the night or very early in the morning. Sometimes I am so tired I have no resistance and let him sleep with us. Other times I get up and take him to his bed. I am more concerned about this than my [...]

Filed under: Boundaries, Children, Family, Fathers, Growing up, Happiness, Parenting/Children, Space, healing, mother | Tagged: child, getting up in the night, nights, own bed, sleeping | 1 Comment »

“Our daughter is seeing a man and with a bad track record. She has already been married once before. The problem we have is the impact her life has upon her children. The children (9 and 7) are torn between their mother, father, and the new man. They want to be loyal to all the [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Attraction, Authentic love, Children, Communication, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Grandparents | Tagged: children and bonding, Divorce, parenting, remarriage, role of grandparents | 1 Comment »

The advocates for understanding and listening to young people are many. This is usually a good thing - but alas - it appears to have become somewhat of a preoccupation of areas of mental health. Far less is promoted regarding the reverse: the importance of young people listening to, and understanding adults, parents in particular.
In [...]

Filed under: Children, Coaching, Listening, Teenagers | Tagged: Listening, Relationships, School, teen, Teenagers, understanding | No Comments »

“Regarding abusive behavior you write: ‘Resist using reason with the perpetrator of such behavior – you will not, using reason, convince a perpetrator to stop abusive behavior. The only way to stop it is to radically shift your response to it. While you cooperate with what you do not want the behavior will not cease.’ [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Children, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: change, mother, poor behavior, radical, shift in behavior, son | 1 Comment »

1. Your courage, determination and your willingness to fully live, your ability and willingness to employ all of your skills and expedite your wildest ambitions, will go a long way toward compensating for the absence of the other parent.
2. Being debilitated by the absence of a partner, living as if a successful life is impossible [...]

Filed under: Blended families, Boundaries, Children, Community, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Love, Parenting/Children, Relationships, Single parenting, Stepfather, Stepmother, Teenagers, Voice | Tagged: children of divorce, Dads, Family, moms, separation, Single parenting, solo-parenting | 1 Comment »

“I have a problem sibling. My sister and I spent four long years not talking, much to my mom’s distress, and many other years bickering. We made up, mostly for my mother. It didn’t seem fair to me that I had to humble myself and beg her to let things go (even though the whole [...]

Filed under: Children, Communication, Family | Tagged: brother, Family, mother, rivalry, siblings, sister | No Comments »

 
Dedicated to Younger Readers (From my book: A SHORT COURSE IN GOOD MANNERS for Middle School and All other Humans)
I will not apologize for adults who treat you with less than good manners, but I will try to articulate a few things that I know annoy younger people about some adults. When dealing with annoying [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Boundaries, Children, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Education, Family, Growing up, Happiness, Humor | Tagged: church, communicating with youth, fun, kids, middle school, talking down to kids, youth groups | 2 Comments »