Difficult Relationships / Rod E. Smith

“You often mention ‘forgiving’ or ‘forgiveness.’ Is this blanket advice even to follow when the person who has perpetrated the wrong has not apologized or asked for forgiveness. If you forgive someone who has not asked for forgiveness, are you then not letting that person get away with their bad behaviour and thus not putting [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Boundaries, Communication, Differentiation, Forgiveness, Personal growth, Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Voice | Tagged: how do I forgive, hurt, sorrow, sorry | No Comments »

“My boyfriend and I are about to get married. I have a problem. He’s insecure that my daughter’s father is in her life. What do I do to assure him that nothing is going on between my ex and me other than taking care of our child? What do I do?” (Edited)
It is not [...]

Filed under: Boundaries, Children, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Divorce, Growing up | No Comments »

1. Are clear and “up front” as possible about your expectations when facing new or changing circumstances.
2. Rehearse difficult conversations with a trusted friend before you have to engage in them.
3. Engage at deeper and more meaningful levels of conversation with people in your immediate family.
4. Work hard at ridding your self of debt.
5. Meet regularly with a small [...]

Filed under: Boundaries | Tagged: Anxiety | 1 Comment »

My family is troubled. We are facing financial issues, relationship problems, and change (one sister is getting married, one sister is getting divorced). I am 23 and feel as if my parents are looking to me to be the wise one. In the meantime I am trying to build my own life and get an [...]

Filed under: Boundaries, Community, Compatibility, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships | Tagged: Family, help, responsibility | 2 Comments »

There are “injustice collectors” lurking in every organization…
He or she is very easily offended. Being offended (hurt, bruised) is a permanent condition.
His or her emotional life is akin to an over-ripe peach. Thus, the slightest disagreement, or your failure to smile (or thank, or praise) leaves him or her with a lingering bruise.
You’ve got to [...]

Filed under: Boundaries, Communication, Community, Victims | Tagged: difficult people, hurt, offended, Victims | 3 Comments »

A few times a week our son (6) comes to our bed in the night or very early in the morning. Sometimes I am so tired I have no resistance and let him sleep with us. Other times I get up and take him to his bed. I am more concerned about this than my [...]

Filed under: Boundaries, Children, Family, Fathers, Growing up, Happiness, Parenting/Children, Space, healing, mother | Tagged: child, getting up in the night, nights, own bed, sleeping | 1 Comment »

1. Blind you from the real issues you and your family are facing.
2. Distort your thinking either by amplifying or by minimizing the real issues.
3. Make you inordinately suspicious of others and so you create “necessary” enemies.
4. Make you inordinately trusting of a few in whom you place all your trust.
5. Suck all the energy [...]

Filed under: Boundaries, Coaching, Communication, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Victims, Voice | Tagged: ache, Anxiety, concern, troubles, worry | 3 Comments »

Did you hear about the mother who complained her children were always in her hair? Now that her son and daughter are adults she can’t get them to return her phone calls. They are out of much more than her hair.
What about the dad who buried himself in his work just to find some [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Blended families, Boundaries, Coaching, Communication, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Insight, Interpersonal intimacy, Parenting/Children | Tagged: career, father, loneliness, mother, parenting | 2 Comments »

“I am in an affair with a married man. Although it is a year it seems like a lifetime. I was married when we began our relationship. My husband moved away and I thought he was going to make the break with his wife. One day he tells me not to give up on him. [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Victims, Voice | Tagged: affair, anguish, emotional, help, husband, relationship hell, wife | 8 Comments »

1. Be aware of the unique, honored position I have in your life, and regard it with the respect it deserves.
2. Hear you, even if you are telling me things I’d rather you not say.
3. Be willing to disagree with you, when, in my estimation, you are wrong, off target, or unfair in your actions [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Boundaries, Coaching, Communication, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Family, Friendship, Growing up, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Listening, Personal growth, Reactivity, Recovery, Relationships, Responsive people, Teenagers, Victims, Voice, Womanhood, Young Love | Tagged: Family, Friendship, Love, men and women, power of friendships | 2 Comments »