Difficult Relationships / Rod E. Smith

Did you hear about the mother who complained her children were always in her hair? Now that her son and daughter are adults she can’t get them to return her phone calls. They are out of much more than her hair.
What about the dad who buried himself in his work just to find some [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Blended families, Boundaries, Coaching, Communication, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Insight, Interpersonal intimacy, Parenting/Children | Tagged: career, father, loneliness, mother, parenting | 2 Comments »

Are you estranged from a family member? Here, modified according to your needs* and circumstances, and expressed in your own words and style, is the gist of offering a “Here I Stand” challenge:
“Here I stand, my son, despite our painful history, desiring to be a loving parent and grandparent to you and to your children. [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Blended families, Boundaries, Communication, Community, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Family, Fathers, Forgiveness, Friendship, Generosity, Grace, Recovery, Relationships, Trust, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: daughter, Forgiveness, parent, reconciliation, son | No Comments »

“I would like to reconcile with my son (30). He has children of whom I am very fond. Some years ago his mother and I were divorced after many years and my relationship with my son immediately thereafter seemed fine. A year after the divorce I met a woman and we married a year later. [...]

Filed under: Authentic love, Blended families | Tagged: accept, Divorce, estranged, Marriage, new wife, son | 4 Comments »

1. Your courage, determination and your willingness to fully live, your ability and willingness to employ all of your skills and expedite your wildest ambitions, will go a long way toward compensating for the absence of the other parent.
2. Being debilitated by the absence of a partner, living as if a successful life is impossible [...]

Filed under: Blended families, Boundaries, Children, Community, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Love, Parenting/Children, Relationships, Single parenting, Stepfather, Stepmother, Teenagers, Voice | Tagged: children of divorce, Dads, Family, moms, separation, Single parenting, solo-parenting | 1 Comment »

“I have been married a year and it has been so down. My husband prefers drinking with his loser buddies than being around any positive people. I hardly see him. I feel like we are in a very early stage of a relationship. I have been married four times, and I think I am crazy! [...]

Filed under: Attraction, Blended families, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Family | Tagged: child, choices, ex, heartbroken, husband, losers, Love, Re-marriage, Relationships, stuck, wife | 3 Comments »

“I have been going out with ‘Jill’ for several years. We do not live together. Every now again, when she has problems, she does not want to be around people, including me. I find this very difficult. I don’t think she understands how to love or be loved. I have tried to get her to [...]

Filed under: Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Blended families, Boundaries, Children, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Therapeutic Process, Toxic Relationships, Triggers, Trust, Valentines Day | Tagged: Divorce, emotional cripple, growth, help, husband, life, Marriage, wheelchair | 4 Comments »

Conditions under which counseling or therapy will be of most value….
1. Neither client nor therapist exaggerates therapist’s abilities or the client’s condition.
2. Therapist sees role as helping client steer toward a more productive, healthy future.
3. Client sees the “big picture” over the “long haul” rather immediate relief in the “here and now.” (Patience, patience, patience).
4. [...]

Filed under: Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Blended families, Books, Boundaries, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Divorce, Domination, Education, Family, Forgiveness, Friendship, High maintenance relationships, Love, Manipulation, Marriage, Re-marriage, Recovery, Relationships, Responsive people, Second marriages, Sexual compatibility, Step parenting, Teenagers, Therapeutic Process, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Voice, Young Love | Tagged: affair, Counseling, Family, father, help, lover, Money, mother, parents, sex, therapy, time, waste | 7 Comments »

I took on two stepchildren twelve years ago who have become wonderful adults who love all their parents. Here are some things I did to make life easier:

I didn’t take the place of anyone. I took my place.
I didn’t get in the way of their affections for their parents, but expected them to be well [...]

Filed under: Adoption, Attraction, Authentic love, Blended families, Boundaries, Children, Coaching, Communication, Community, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Education, Family, High maintenance relationships, Home, Step parenting, Stepfather, Stepmother, Toxic Relationships, Trust, Voice | Tagged: affair, anguish, blended family, emotional, help, husband, mother, relationship hell, step, wife | No Comments »

“I have been married 15 years (second marriage) and already had five children. I met my husband after I had an injury from a car accident, which left me disabled. I’m paralyzed from neck down. I got a settlement from the accident. He has no time for me and gives no financial help. So I [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Blended families | Tagged: addictions, alcohol, Divorce, drink, drunk, gambling, help, husband, Money, Recovery, unhappy, wife | 1 Comment »

1. Are we spiritually, financially, psychologically, and emotionally, sufficiently suited to each other?
2. Do our long-held, individual, long-term, personal goals and personal dreams somewhat fit with each other?
3. What do we each imagine is possible for us to achieve (service to the poor, overseas travel, learning [...]

Filed under: Attraction, Blended families, Boundaries, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Differentiation, Divorce, Education, Family, Generosity, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Listening, Love, Marriage, Marriage and in-laws, Money, Re-marriage, Relationships, Sexual compatibility, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Voice, Weddings | Tagged: , boyfriend, Compatibility, debt, Divorce, girlfriend, help, Love, Marriage, Money, new, questions | 1 Comment »