Difficult Relationships / Rod E. Smith

“We’ve been married for seven years and have two children. We have serious issues. I have been unfaithful. He has been very abusive. After the honeymoon years we found out what type of people we really are. I tried to leave but each time he would get sad and I would run back. He hasn’t [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Alcoholism, Attraction, Authentic love, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: abused, difficult, husband is jealous, jealous, Jealousy, man, married, wife | 2 Comments »

I think I was eleven. I might have been ten. I waited until Dad returned from the bar and until Mom and Dad were finished with the normal routine of shouting about his drinking and were finished with the attacks and counter attacks I had heard re-run for the full span of my life. I [...]

Filed under: Alcoholism, Anger, Authentic love, Boundaries, Communication, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Family, Fathers | Tagged: AA, Abuse, alcohol, alcoholics, Dads, drinking, moms, Recovery, sober | 2 Comments »

“I want to save my marriage. Our situation has risen to a new level with issues of jealously and trust. He takes my car keys, he checks up on me, I no longer have friends around, and am no longer allowed ‘ladies nights.’ My brother is not allowed to visit. My husband doesn’t want children. [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Alcoholism, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Communication, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Divorce, Domination, Double standards, Grief, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Intimidation, Jealousy | Tagged: better life, Counseling, counselling, future, husband, Marriage, passionate marriage, pre-marriage, Schnarch, wife | 4 Comments »

“I have been married for 25 years. When I met him he was drinking and I never thought much of it as we were socializing. On our wedding day he was drunk. When our first child was born he was in the car drinking whilst I was in labour and I needed him. It has [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Alcoholism, Anger, Betrayal | Tagged: Abuse, alcohol, cold, drinking, help, wife | 3 Comments »

Are you emotionally out of shape? Psychologically exhausted? Tramped on? Feel trapped? Just as a person can be physically run down, so also can one become emotionally depleted. Here are simple, not easy, steps to getting your internal life into shape. Each will do your internal life as much good as frequent exercise does for [...]

Filed under: Alcoholism, Anger, Authentic love, Betrayal, Boundaries, Cheating, Children, Coaching, Communication, Community, Control issues, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Divorce, Domination, Double standards, Family, First date, Flirting, Forgiveness, Friendship, Growing up, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Intimidation, Jealousy, Listening, Living together, Long distance relationships, Marriage, Marriage and in-laws, Meditation, Parenting/Children, Past relationships, Personal growth, Pornography, Re-marriage, Reactivity, Recovery, Relationships, Sexual abuse, Sexual compatibility, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: , drink, drunk, emotional, exhausted, help, Marriage, remarriage, tired | 7 Comments »

Why is gambling such an addiction (drugs I understand!)?
Where a “big win” is presented as real possibility (thus the publicity afforded “big wins” the “common” gambler is encouraged to believe the day will come when he or she will win the jackpot.
Gambling is self-defeating for the obvious reason: the stakes are high, and so [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Alcoholism, Authentic love, Boundaries, Difficult Relationships, Grace, Interpersonal intimacy, Intimidation, Living together, Relationships, Victims, Violence | Tagged: addictions, alcohol, Divorce, drink, drunk, gambling, help, husband, Recovery, wife | No Comments »

Three questions to ask to establish the presence of an addiction:
1. Are there physical symptoms related to the behavior or to the absence of the behavior (cravings, ideation, longing, preoccupation)?
2. Is there loss, or threatened loss, of close relationships (breakups of marriage or friendships) as a direct result of the behavior?
3. Has there been [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Alcoholism, Anger, Authentic love, Betrayal, Double standards, Reactivity, Recovery, Relationships, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: addictions, alcohol, Divorce, drunk, families, Family, gambling, help, husband, Recovery, secrets, wife | No Comments »

“I am married and have three teenage sons. We are compatible, except in one area that threatens everything. I don’t drink at all and don’t like social situations where there is too much drinking or being around drunk people. He enjoys a ‘party’ or having a few beers a couple of times a week. Very [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Alcoholism, Difficult Relationships, Divorce, Home, Insight, Interpersonal intimacy, Love, Relationships, Teenagers, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: alcohol, Divorce, drunk, famaily, help, husband, mother, son, Voice, wife | 5 Comments »

Reader’s question: My boyfriend says we have to have sex to see if we are sexually compatible before he will continue seeing me. What do you think?
Rod’s answer: What an old, and ridiculous line. Move on! Your boyfriend is what I call a “pp” or “penis propelled.” If you really want to assess sexual compatibility [...]

Filed under: Affairs, Alcoholism, Attraction, Cheating, Communication, Compatibility, Control issues, Dating, Difficult Relationships, Double standards, Happiness, Penis propelled, Personal growth, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: are we suited, compatible, he wants sex, husband, Love, Marriage, sex, wife | 1 Comment »

“I read your reply to my letter in the paper this morning. Thank you for your advice, which I know too well but, as your readers have expressed, it is so hard to leave a relationship. However it is so sad. If only he had the courage to seek help. What a wonderful person he [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Affairs, Alcoholism, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal | 1 Comment »