Your “casual” or “I can take it or leave it” relationship with alcohol might be more than casual if:
(a) It has caused stress in your relationships
(b) It has resulted in public embarrassment
(c) You crave a quick fix of beer or alcohol (and sometimes get it in secret)
(d) It has caused you to miss or [...]
Filed under: Abuse, Addictions, Alcoholism, Children, Control issues, Dads, Difficult Relationships, Domestic Violence | Tagged: children and alcohol, my dad drinks | Leave a Comment »
“Not every married man’s situation is the same. I have a friend who is a married man who happens to be so unhappy it just makes my heart break. He has been nothing but the sweetest guy for me. Whether or not we end up together isn’t the end goal, it’s ALL about being happy [...]
Filed under: Abuse, Addictions, Affairs, Alcoholism, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Blame, Blended families, Boundaries, Cheating | Tagged: dating married men, married men | Leave a Comment »
Some things are overrated for their power to shape people. Before I am barraged with mail, kindly note I am not suggesting these things are not important. I am suggesting they are offered more power to heal or hurt than appropriate:
1. Parenting: While of course it is important parents do all they can to [...]
Filed under: Abuse, Addictions, Adolescence, Affairs, Alcoholism, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Blame, Community, Compatibility, Control issues, Dads, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Forgiveness, Friendship, Generosity, Happiness, High maintenance relationships, Interpersonal intimacy, Intimidation, Jealousy, Leadership, Love, Manipulation, Over Parenting, Parenting/Children, Past relationships | Leave a Comment »
Addiction is no picnic. The substance, or the activity, and the accompanying shame begin to rule. It (alcohol, “pot”, gambling, illicit sexual behavior, you name it) can take over a person’s life and make a beggar out of anyone. The shakes, cravings, preoccupations with the drugs, drinks, over-the-counter drugs, or gambling, then becomes central to [...]
Filed under: Abuse, Addictions, Alcoholism, Boundaries, Cheating, Difficult Relationships, Domination, Faith, Family | Tagged: Addictions, I need help with drugs, sexual addictions | 4 Comments »
Your brief question leaves many unaddressed variables. That you desire sex might be considered a positive thing in the wake (no cheap pun intended) of your loss. Yet, if you have used sex in the past as an escape, rather than as a means to contributing to a mutual, respectful, and equal relationship, you will [...]
Filed under: Abuse, Addictions, Affairs, Alcoholism, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Boundaries, Communication, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Faith, Friendship, Grace, Grief, Happiness, Listening, Living together, Love, Manipulation, Marriage, Personal growth, Relationships, Sex education, Sex matters, Sexual abuse, Sexual compatibility, Toxic Relationships, Voice | Leave a Comment »
My ex-girlfriend won’t let go. We have been broken up for three years and had many conversations covering the reasons the relationship did not work. She continued to buy me clothes, make me food, send me cards, and try to see me for one last thing she needed to understand. I think I have been [...]
Filed under: Abuse, Addictions, Affairs, Alcoholism, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Betrayal, Blame, Boundaries, Communication, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Personal growth, Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Voice | Tagged: my girlfriend won't let go | 2 Comments »
“My husband checks my emails, my cell phone and computer history, and my credit card statements. He also grills me daily about my conversations. He’d really prefer me not to work so he knows where I am and what I am doing but we need the money. You’d think I have a history of indiscretions [...]
Filed under: Abuse, Affairs, Alcoholism, Anger, Authentic love, Betrayal, Blame, Boundaries, Cheating, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Divorce, Domination, High maintenance relationships, Toxic Relationships, Triangles, Victims, Violence, Voice | 1 Comment »
“I am going to get a divorce if my wife’s drinking continues. She has been getting progressively worse and we have only been married for three years. I can’t stand the smell and I can’t stand not knowing how things will be every weekend. We have no children and I think it is time for [...]
Filed under: Alcoholism, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Boundaries, Communication, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Personal growth, Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Voice | Tagged: she drinks too much | Leave a Comment »
“My husband is nagging me about my two to three beers every night and a few cigarettes before dinner. He is telling me that I am an alcoholic and out of control. He has convinced my children (22 and 19) that I have a ‘big problem.’ He can have his gin tonic and cigars and [...]
Filed under: Abuse, Addictions, Alcoholism, Anger, Boundaries, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Family, High maintenance relationships | Leave a Comment »
Readers, kindly offer your insights through “comments” and read the therapists’ (Jean’s, and Kathryn’s) opinions in a day or two.
“I have been married for eight months to a man who seemed well educated and liberated. Barely months into the marriage he had a violent outburst and bullied me over a trivial things. In disbelief, I [...]
Filed under: Abuse, Alcoholism, Anger, Betrayal, Blame, Boundaries, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Reactivity, Relationships, Victims, Violence, Voice | Leave a Comment »
