Posted on June 3, 2008 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
“My son’s father and I broke up before I found out that I was pregnant. There were minimal monetary contributions for 3 months after my son, now 13, was born. He wanted me to abort but I refused. My son has never asked me about his father and so I have never told him anything. [...]
Filed under: Abuse, Adolescence, Adoption, Communication, Dads, Difficult Relationships, Forgiveness, Grace, Parenting/Children, Past relationships | Tagged: abortion, parenting, secrets | 1 Comment »
Posted on October 31, 2007 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
“My daughter in law is like my own daughter. We are very close. She says I am the mother she never had. For a few weeks, even months, she has been very sad about being unable to become pregnant. I have been giving her all the encouragement I can give her. I am finding it [...]
Filed under: Adoption, Difficult Relationships | Tagged: child, husband, in law, mother-in-law, pregnant, talk, wife | No Comments »
Posted on October 29, 2007 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
I took on two stepchildren twelve years ago who have become wonderful adults who love all their parents. Here are some things I did to make life easier:
I didn’t take the place of anyone. I took my place.
I didn’t get in the way of their affections for their parents, but expected them to be well [...]
Filed under: Adoption, Attraction, Authentic love, Blended families, Boundaries, Children, Coaching, Communication, Community, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Education, Family, High maintenance relationships, Home, Step parenting, Stepfather, Stepmother, Toxic Relationships, Trust, Voice | Tagged: affair, anguish, blended family, emotional, help, husband, mother, relationship hell, step, wife | No Comments »
Posted on September 4, 2007 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
Four years ago I met a woman who had a son (9) I then adopted. She is suing for divorce after one heated argument. My wife indicated in divorce papers that my adopted son doesn’t wish to continue our relationship or see me yet she also stated visitation be allowed. She reneged on visits and [...]
Filed under: Adoption | No Comments »
Posted on January 30, 2007 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
It’s been a tag free-for-all in my house tonight. Not the traditional run-hide-and-find kind but the keep-dad-awake version. One child goes off to sleep; the other turns his head a fraction off the pillow to say he is “starving.” I think immediately how little we know in a land of plenty about starvation, but decide not [...]
Filed under: Adoption, Authentic love, Blended families, Children, Communication, Community, Dads, Differentiation, Education, Growing up, Happiness, Listening, Parenting/Children | 1 Comment »
Posted on January 30, 2007 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
If I were endowed with the power to award gold medals, mothers who stay at home with their young children day after day would be decorated for their bravery. Two days after the curtain closed on my son’s delightful Christmas pageant, and we took our children home for the holidays, I was already fried.
To be [...]
Filed under: Adoption, Authentic love, Boundaries, Children, Communication, Differentiation, Growing up, Happiness, Love, Parenting/Children, Single parenting, Step parenting, Stepfather, Stepmother, Voice | 1 Comment »
Posted on January 7, 2007 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
“My boyfriend of 8 months and I are very much in love. He speaks of marriage. I can only assume that we will head that way in the near future. When we met he was still legally married although living apart from his wife. Despite some hesitation I went forward with my relationship trusting divorce [...]
Filed under: Adoption, Children, Dads, Divorce, Family, High maintenance relationships, Marriage, Relationships, Voice | 5 Comments »
Posted on November 23, 2006 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
“I don’t know what to do. I fell in love with a coworker before he married, but it wasn’t until after he got married that we began our relationship. He said he loves me more than (he loves) his wife and that he regrets not being able to love me the way he loves me [...]
Filed under: Abuse, Adoption, Toxic Relationships | 4 Comments »
Posted on November 8, 2006 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
Dear Rod:
I take the liberty of addressing you as Rod because to me you are a friend I meet every weekday at breakfast. I am from Dbn and read the Mercury every morning. I too have been subjected to invasive questions such as those listed. Fortunately (or unfortunately), I have no illusions about how insensitive [...]
Filed under: Adoption | No Comments »
Posted on November 7, 2006 by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
Twelve things to resist asking parents of adopted children:
1. Where did you get them?
2. Who are the real parents?
3. Are these your real children?
4. Are they real brothers?
5. How long have you had them?
6. Do you find it easy to love children who are not your own?
7. Do you worry that one day they will leave you and look for their real [...]
Filed under: Adoption, Children, Growing up, Teenagers | 11 Comments »
