Difficult Relationships / Rod E. Smith

There is much debate about the disciplining of children. Here are two readers expressing contrary views. What do you think? How does it work (or not work) in your family? I welcome your responses:
“I have four kids and if one of them gets out of line I will spank their bottoms. Kids nowadays get away [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Authentic love, Child neglect, Children, Dads, Difficult Relationships, Disrespect, Victims | Tagged: Children, discipline, spanking | 2 Comments »

Sexual behaviors can provide powerful insight into a person’s life. While it is tempting to label people and behavior, it is seldom helpful when solutions to damaging or addictive behaviors are sought. It is helpful to note that:
1. Sexuality, and sexual problems, cannot be divorced from a person’s “whole.” To say “this is just a sexual [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Difficult Relationships, Personal growth, Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Victims | Tagged: understanding sexuality | No Comments »

We are “just friends” is often the defense used by men and woman who are on the verge of an affair, or at least a liaison that will be hurtful to a spouse. We “just work together,” says the woman to her husband about a co-worker who gets all of her attention even on weekends. [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Attraction, Communication, Difficult Relationships, Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Victims, Voice | Tagged: Affairs, Relationships, we're just friends | 2 Comments »

“My son’s father and I broke up before I found out that I was pregnant. There were minimal monetary contributions for 3 months after my son, now 13, was born. He wanted me to abort but I refused. My son has never asked me about his father and so I have never told him anything. [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Adolescence, Adoption, Communication, Dads, Difficult Relationships, Forgiveness, Grace, Parenting/Children, Past relationships | Tagged: abortion, parenting, secrets | 1 Comment »

“I have been with a man I adore for two years. I love him completely and I would do anything for him. Throughout the relationship there have been problems. It was slow to get started because of a large age gap. I’m 21. He’s 40. He struggled with the idea of holding me back and [...]

Filed under: Abuse, addictions | 1 Comment »

“I cannot seem to break free of the memories I have when my wife was unfaithful to me. We have talked about it constantly and I have forgiven her and she has forgiven me for my anger. Yet, although it was quite a few years ago, it still niggles at me. Please help.”

Sometimes you have [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Affairs, Anger, Attraction, Authentic love, Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Voice | Tagged: Affairs, Cheating, forgive, get over an affair | 3 Comments »

“You have written that I am blind to my own behavior but an expert in the behavior of my abusive boyfriend. Actually I am very aware of my own behavior to the point of being an expert in it, too. The problem is that I don’t know how to get away from him. When he [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Anger, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: Abuse, controlling men, Divorce, getting help, moving on | No Comments »

“I’ve been with my partner for 8 years. When we’re fighting he phones old girlfriends, won’t answer his phone, is extremely verbally abusive, and minimizes our relationship (because we’re not married). He mocks and makes fun of me if I cry. He has destroyed my belongings and stays out all night. He calls a woman [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Affairs, Anger, Authentic love, Betrayal, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: control, fusion, manipulaiton, Toxic Relationships | 6 Comments »

“My husband is bipolar and for almost all of our married life he has shown severe aggression whilst driving. The slightest irritation on the road would cause him to exhibit road rage. He would most often tailgate and show aggressive signs to other drivers. I have known him to get out of his vehicle to [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Anger, Bi-polar, Rage, Reactivity, Relationships, Violence, Voice | Tagged: Anger, Bi-polar, driving, Marriage, Rage | 6 Comments »

“I am sorry I have facilitated your insecurities by allowing your jealousy to influence my behavior. I will try not to do this anymore. It is not good for either of us. Walking on egg-shells is not how I like to spend my energy.”
“Going out to dinner with my friends (daughter, son, mother, father, brother, [...]

Filed under: Abuse, Anger, Attraction, Difficult Relationships, Domination, Interpersonal intimacy, Jealousy, Victims, Violence, Voice | Tagged: abused, difficult, husband is jealous, jealous, Jealousy, man, married, wife | 4 Comments »