Why am I always the bridesmaid?
July 1, 2009 4 Comments
“I’m 30, 6′2″ and Christian. I am a former athlete and model with two masters degrees and still a virgin. Recently I had an affair with a married man and I broke it off but he text-ed me yesterday and I changed my mind. Me? The other woman! Never. He’s well known, charismatic, a leader/mentor/father and is almost 20 years my senior. I’m tired of being alone and somewhere close to the twentieth bridesmaid dress. Men come along, but they’re significantly shorter than I am. I always like feeling protected and taller guys are preferred. My friend asked me, ‘What is it about you and unavailable men?’ Please help.”
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Here’s my suggestion: Get your focus completely off finding a husband (or someone else’s husband) and make peace with your parents and the members of your family who are one generation immediately before you. Get legitimate protection – then you will not need to seek it at all costs.
Welcome, Kathryn!
Consider spending time discovering who you are, what it is you need and desire out of a relationship and hopefully, when you begin to know yourself better, you may become the bride. Cut all communication and remove yourself from the situation.
About Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
Sage advice as always. That with we chase eludes us, when we stop the chase we attract that which we desire.
hey there, thanks for sharing, i’m the person who posted this article. (it’s been edited a bit from the original) speaking honestly, i’m not a chaser, i used to be though. this attraction is mutual, but it’s wrong. i know that… i actually stopped dating almost 9 yrs ago (to find myself i hoped), and here, now, it’s the 1st in 9yrs and it’s an Affair. I’m so ashamed, yet I want the attention. Not dating anyone was my idea, didn’t really expect it to backfire in this way.
peace.
Your original is edited because we have a 200 word limit (by choice) for question and answer. I strive to have the edit NOT remove the original tone or intent of the writer. I trust we did your question justice.
Rod (for Rod and Kathryn)
Hello Rod,
Thanks for replying, there’s a segment of women in the wider community who, for some reason, are primarily attracted to unavailable men (married, committed, etc.) can you explore that as a topic of discussion? I’m fighting a war and I know that God had given me the victory, this too shall pass…
God Bless.