Here is a list of the covert ‘silent’ relationship killers for which the primary responsibility lies with the party desiring to use significant amounts of common time, money and/or assets. (Note: only applicable to the big objectives, not every little goal.)

- Failure to agree objectives (leading to their ‘justifiable’ personal uses of common time, money and assets based upon their access)
- Failure to agree timing (leading to their ‘justifiable’ personal uses of common time, money and assets based upon their perception of urgency)
- Failure to agree commitments (leading to their ‘justifiable’ personal uses of common time, money and assets based upon their perception of importance)
- Failure to agree effort (leading to their ‘justifiable’ personal uses of common time, money and assets based upon their perception of priorities)
- Failure to make realistic expectations from the above conversations (leading to onerous demands, questioning, and/or verification requirements of your intent, words or actions)
- Failure to do the agreed to complete their half of your mutually agreed objectives (leading to their disproportionate personal uses of common time, money and assets based upon their personal objectives)
- Failure to reponsively, kindly, constructively, optimistically, openly, and honestly discuss failure to do any of the above when asked.

Complex, subtle, hidden issues ? Yes.
Required to try your best to fulfil your own responsibilities ? Yes.
Required to try your best to defend against their failure to fulfil their own responsibilities ? Yes.
Required to take ownership of your mistakes ? Yes.
Required to make amends for your mistakes ? Yes.
Required to learn from your mistakes ? Yes.
Perfection the standard ? No, it’s the journey, not the destination.