Comments on: Help me through HER menopause…..!

By: chris gatzonis

chris gatzonis — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 06:51:33 +0000

I am going through a rough emotional battle trying to keep my sanity with my wife’s aggression and erratic behaviour.
I have to take the abuse and not retaliate as i can see that she is irrational and aggresive.The only problem is I cannot speak to her as she is very cold towards me and does her best to ignore me.
I have been thinking of leaving her as I do not know how much more of this abuse I can handle,but then on the other side my wife is actually a very loving person and full of energy and fun to be around,I really miss this side of her.
I just dont know how to approach her anymore as her actions are unpredictable and embarrasing to say the least

By: Will

Will — Sun, 30 May 2010 23:35:33 +0000

God bless this website. My wife is gong nuts, this menapause thing is a curse on people and their should be an injection are somthing to take. I am going to die or somthing worse. Does this last for the rest of our lives?

signed husband about to die (death by menapause).

By: David

David — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 22:13:14 +0000

OMG! I am going through this right now! My wife says that she’s sick of being number two and being a shadow. She does not know if she wants to be with me anymore and says that right now what she needs is space . . . to be left alone. I am heart-broken. We have had our problems in the past (me mostly) and up until the time I began reading this, I thought that I had failed in trying to reconcile our relationship. By the way, it doesn’t help that her mother whom she adores is suffering from cancer that has come back and is currently stage IV. I never realized just how much I adore this woman. I need to know how to make it better for her. But I am lost.

By: JR

JR — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 06:28:58 +0000

My wife suffered a major anxiety attack two years ago. It’s been all downhill since then. She has developed many of the symptoms including sleeplessness, headaches, weight gain in the abdomen, brittle hair and her cycles are off and heavy. She won’t admit to perimenopause, nor get it checked out. She’s had thyroid issues and that could be complicating the symptoms. Every couple of months, she gets on a separation/divorce theme that scares the kids and me. She’s often beligerent and gets upset very easily. She also has some MLC tendencies and may do something damaging to our relationship. If my kids were gone, I would take a long vacation from her and see if things improve.

By: JA

JA — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 01:09:08 +0000

My wife started perimenopause last year and is a nutcase. I can’t stand to be around her and would have been gone except that I stayed for the kids. I don’t know how much more I can take and will try to stick it our until June.

By: SimonH

SimonH — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:28:47 +0000

Barbara stated : “Apparently in America 1/5 women gets raped in her lifetime, this means that 1/5 American men are rapists.

That doesn’t tie in at all … are you stating that there’s a 1:1 relationship between the raped and the rapist? not at all!!

Brian stated : “You do have to walk away, mate”
Another idiot … Women are not in control of their behaviour at this time in their life – their hormones are … – sure – rather than help to support the person you pledged your life to – through ‘sickness and health’ turn your back on them!

How sad that there is SO little support for ‘COUPLES’ with regard to dealing with the menopause – whether it’s biological or surgical … the last thing people need is poor advice!

Simon

(I edited Simon — I think he needs his mouth washed with soap….. Rod Smith)

By: Beautylee

Beautylee — Sun, 24 May 2009 11:29:40 +0000

I am 45 and into menopause and I can relate to all you men and family of women going through this revolting change of life. My poor husband doesn’t know whether hes living with Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. He is very patient but it gets to him. It is easy to say there should be accountability and no excuses for the behaviour we go through. I also become very angry and abusive, suffer depression, feelings of unworthiness etc. If you are not going through it or are male than you really can not comment on our behaviour. For women out there of breeding age, all I can say is wait for your turn, it is coming for you and when it does then you will understand exactly what myself and other poor women are going through.

By: Andrea

Andrea — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 17:05:55 +0000

I have read the posts and believe that menopause can’t always be the excuse to let your emotions and aggression run wild.
I am in a different position than many of you.. I am the daughter of a woman going through severe menopause.
My mother is off the wall- I have thought underlying bipolar disorder for many a years now-however she would never accept it. Now it seems Menopause is her excuse for everything: there is no talking back – that means for her daughter or her partner. She is on the defense 24/7. She has recently began becoming very abusive. Recently hitting and punching her husband – tearing his shirt to shreads and today, kicking, biting, hair pulling and punching me in the face. She picked up the wooden garbage can and said she would fucken kill me and that she hates me. Along with the violence, you have the ever so common insults and harsh words, mistakes of your past that she brings up to aunt you with.
Through all of this I dish it right back-except for the violence.. I realize even shouting the insults back is not right, but I cannot simply let her abuse me like she abuses her husband- I will not.
I have told her she needs severe help and even when she doesn’t seem neurotic- I try to bring it up- however, it isn’t her= it is me, the husband, her friend, the doctor, everyone else but her who needs the help.
The world is a bunch of idiots and she is on her thrown looking down on everyone.

She needs help. She will never get help= as she believes there is nothing wrong with her. Her husband will never do anything – he says it will end when her menopause ends and he will ignore it for now. She is getting worse. What do I do?

By: Zel

Zel — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 19:25:13 +0000

I’m a 35 year old woman, mom to beautiful and bright 5 yr old and will be married for 14 yrs this month…Feb09. I’ve just been told I’m pre-menopausal with a 5cm sist and fybroids. tests normal so that’s great – dr will take it out in a month or so if needed. My gran and mom went through menopause at 39… Reading the posts, I was laughing so much now that I started crying in between… it’s ME. I am angry and confused. my hubbie is also 35 and with major health issues in the past himself (brain operations, epilepcy, kidney and heart problems) though very healthy at the moment I’ve had enormous levels of stress. I was with him through all (he started smoking now which makes me furious…) I am alone in this – have no-one. Before the drs informed me, my marriage was almost over. Now everybody says I am just difficult and treating my husband unfairly and that I should sort out myself with this pre-menopause and moods swings as every woman just goes through it. I admit to a lot of mistakes I made. Still, I am the only one ‘working’ and suppose ‘fighting’ to save my marriage. Admit I could approach things differently. Wanting my hubbie to also ‘wake-up’ and also treat me like his prescious princess… ok, I admit, princess is pushing it I suppose….. daydreaming of him saving me – not his job… I am alone and need a safe place or somebody that will just say “it’s ok – I still love you.” I will stick with you ! my husband told me he doesn’t feel anything for me anymore. I am still alone. I’m scared that I’m going to be depressed (if I am not there yet?…) it takes all my energy to THINK and FEEL all of this through. I decided to just focus and check myself and my attitude… when things turn for the worse – I ask myself – is this menopause symtoms or am I going to take the ‘pause’ out of menoPAUSE and take deep breaths…. if my marriage cease to exist after this, who can truly control so many things. I focus on ensuring my child receives all the love and stability she deserves and by doing that, hopefully that counts for me and my marriage. Must admit, writing this posts is therapy on it’s own. Write notes to yourself and your partner and kids if needed! Whether I will remain alone, who knows. What I do know is that I’m worth it and deserve to come through this victorious. PS: if I’m in PRE-menopause… pray for my family and that my transition is quick and painless….. Be Blessed

By: TJERALD

TJERALD — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 00:03:02 +0000

I can only imagine the horrible prison that menopause can be for women. And I think there is a degree of undertanding and patience that needs to be extended. However, in my situation my wife has become violent, refuses to take any responsibility for her behavior and just wants to put it off on everyone else to tolerate her. If she were trying to get things under control it would be different, but her violent tyrades seem to be a source of great enjoyment for her personally. Almost like she was been waiting for a good excuse to let it all out with immunity from responsibility. And she has NO intention of trying to get herself under control. Menopause or not, there is a thing called personal accountability. Dont expect others to be your punching bag while you refuse to make necessary corrections. I have contacted an attorney and cant wait to be far far away from this woman. I take great pride and accountability for my actions and I just wont tolerate her violence. 20 years down the tubes, and 3 kids hurt for a women too stubborn to get help for a problem.