Comments on: I left my husband for another man… http://rodesmith.com/2008/04/03/i-left-my-husband-for-another-man/ 1000+ columns - increasing daily - sometimes the web has a face Fri, 30 Jul 2010 23:21:10 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: Nehemiah http://rodesmith.com/2008/04/03/i-left-my-husband-for-another-man/#comment-25650 Nehemiah Wed, 28 Apr 2010 19:31:15 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/2008/04/03/i-left-my-husband-for-another-man/#comment-25650 You ever heard of.. He who casts the first stone? Indeed what this person has done is not something to be praised, but at the same time, NO ONE is exempt from this. Everyone.. and I DO repeat EVERYONE is capable of this and even worse. So before you go and judge this woman, I suggest you check yourself and make sure you don't have any skeletons hanging out of your closet... (removed profanities) You ever heard of.. He who casts the first stone? Indeed what this person has done is not something to be praised, but at the same time, NO ONE is exempt from this. Everyone.. and I DO repeat EVERYONE is capable of this and even worse. So before you go and judge this woman, I suggest you check yourself and make sure you don’t have any skeletons hanging out of your closet… (removed profanities)

]]> By: Chuck http://rodesmith.com/2008/04/03/i-left-my-husband-for-another-man/#comment-25503 Chuck Thu, 15 Apr 2010 19:50:00 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/2008/04/03/i-left-my-husband-for-another-man/#comment-25503 Yes I agree it takes two to make a marriage work. You we're the one who ended it. Your the one that failed. Yes you are a cheater. Talk to someone that's been married for 40 or 50 years. You think they didn't feel like they loved the person next to them anymore. Why didn't you try doing something with the marriage. Apparently you can't keep your vows. Yes I agree it takes two to make a marriage work. You we’re the one who ended it. Your the one that failed. Yes you are a cheater. Talk to someone that’s been married for 40 or 50 years. You think they didn’t feel like they loved the person next to them anymore. Why didn’t you try doing something with the marriage. Apparently you can’t keep your vows.

]]> By: needing advice http://rodesmith.com/2008/04/03/i-left-my-husband-for-another-man/#comment-25442 needing advice Tue, 30 Mar 2010 00:24:50 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/2008/04/03/i-left-my-husband-for-another-man/#comment-25442 soo ive been married for a year now, and the marriage has been horrible, he cheated multiple times, and a few violent times. We have a mutual friend, and about 3 months ago, i started liking him, because he's a really nice guy, and my marriage was crap, so a week ago, i told him how i feel about him, and he revealed he also had feelings, and the whole week was full of butterflies and emotions i never got from my husband. Then yesterday my husband and i agree on getting a divorce, but then he changed his mind, and we got into a big arguement, violence, cops, and a restraining order, so my husbands gone,then today my "friend" calls me and tells me to stop callin him because he doesn't want trouble... talk about my heart being crushed!! i think im in denial because im trying to let it go, and say his loss, and ill get somebody else better, but i really had my hopes on this guy...very sad soo ive been married for a year now, and the marriage has been horrible, he cheated multiple times, and a few violent times. We have a mutual friend, and about 3 months ago, i started liking him, because he’s a really nice guy, and my marriage was crap, so a week ago, i told him how i feel about him, and he revealed he also had feelings, and the whole week was full of butterflies and emotions i never got from my husband. Then yesterday my husband and i agree on getting a divorce, but then he changed his mind, and we got into a big arguement, violence, cops, and a restraining order, so my husbands gone,then today my “friend” calls me and tells me to stop callin him because he doesn’t want trouble… talk about my heart being crushed!! i think im in denial because im trying to let it go, and say his loss, and ill get somebody else better, but i really had my hopes on this guy…very sad

]]> By: Rod E. Smith, MSMFT http://rodesmith.com/2008/04/03/i-left-my-husband-for-another-man/#comment-25440 Rod E. Smith, MSMFT Mon, 29 Mar 2010 13:04:29 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/2008/04/03/i-left-my-husband-for-another-man/#comment-25440 Being “crazy” about someone is exactly that: crazy. Until you find some peace with your marriage, or until you are free of it for a year or two, any man who shows you some thoughtfulness and attention will appear as a knight in shining armor. Don’t confuse attention with love. Leaving your husband (a scary thought even for women in the worst of circumstances) given his abusive behavior ought to be given consideration. Hooking up with some guy you are crazy about ought to terrify you. Don’t do it. Not yet, anyway. Being “crazy” about someone is exactly that: crazy. Until you find some peace with your marriage, or until you are free of it for a year or two, any man who shows you some thoughtfulness and attention will appear as a knight in shining armor. Don’t confuse attention with love.

Leaving your husband (a scary thought even for women in the worst of circumstances) given his abusive behavior ought to be given consideration. Hooking up with some guy you are crazy about ought to terrify you. Don’t do it. Not yet, anyway.

]]> By: Nicky http://rodesmith.com/2008/04/03/i-left-my-husband-for-another-man/#comment-25439 Nicky Mon, 29 Mar 2010 12:42:37 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/2008/04/03/i-left-my-husband-for-another-man/#comment-25439 I have a long story and I dont know were to begin....! I have been with my husband for 21 years now, married for 19. I loved him madly when we met and could not wait to get married and have kids. Have 3 gorgeous boys, 18, 16 and 11, but my husband has beaten me, he has cheated on me. He has another child with another woman who is only 3 years old now - all while we have been married. His children hate him and dont respect him at all. Now I have met another guy and Im crazy about him. He has even asked me to leave my husband and Im seriously considering it, but why am I so scared of taking this step???? HELP ME PLEASE!!! I have a long story and I dont know were to begin….! I have been with my husband for 21 years now, married for 19. I loved him madly when we met and could not wait to get married and have kids. Have 3 gorgeous boys, 18, 16 and 11, but my husband has beaten me, he has cheated on me. He has another child with another woman who is only 3 years old now – all while we have been married. His children hate him and dont respect him at all. Now I have met another guy and Im crazy about him. He has even asked me to leave my husband and Im seriously considering it, but why am I so scared of taking this step???? HELP ME PLEASE!!!

]]> By: Troy http://rodesmith.com/2008/04/03/i-left-my-husband-for-another-man/#comment-25166 Troy Tue, 09 Feb 2010 20:34:06 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/2008/04/03/i-left-my-husband-for-another-man/#comment-25166 Kyle, I guess to each his/her own on what you learn. I speak from my own experience. I have had numerous chances to cheat but did not allow myself to do so, and I would avoid putting myself in situations as such. Why, because I love the person I am with too much and did not want to hurt or be untrustful to my loved one. I have never cheated on my 28 years of marrage. I admit that much of my strong beliefs would have to do with my upbringing from my parents. They gave us values, moral, eithics, and disapline. All of which I am grateful today for, it's made me the strong person I am today. I've never even gone through any drugs,drinking, or smoking periods that some youths go through with the solid ground I've had. I know not all children are fortunate enough as I've been to stay strong with life's sins. I suppose it may sound like I'm judging, but I'm not. It just seems to me if you really love the person you are with, you won't hurt them but some people fall out of love and may see things differently than I. Kyle, I guess to each his/her own on what you learn. I speak from my own experience. I have had numerous chances to cheat but did not allow myself to do so, and I would avoid putting myself in situations as such. Why, because I love the person I am with too much and did not want to hurt or be untrustful to my loved one. I have never cheated on my 28 years of marrage.

I admit that much of my strong beliefs would have to do with my upbringing from my parents. They gave us values, moral, eithics, and disapline. All of which I am grateful today for, it’s made me the strong person I am today. I’ve never even gone through any drugs,drinking, or smoking periods that some youths go through with the solid ground I’ve had. I know not all children are fortunate enough as I’ve been to stay strong with life’s sins.

I suppose it may sound like I’m judging, but I’m not. It just seems to me if you really love the person you are with, you won’t hurt them but some people fall out of love and may see things differently than I.

]]> By: Kyle http://rodesmith.com/2008/04/03/i-left-my-husband-for-another-man/#comment-25140 Kyle Fri, 29 Jan 2010 13:40:16 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/2008/04/03/i-left-my-husband-for-another-man/#comment-25140 Troy, are you kidding me? "A person with values, morals, and ethics would not cheat on another no matter what . . . ?" How can you presume that? Mankind is born sinful and selfish. To be anything different requires learning, and everyone doesn't get that. I have morals, values, and ethics, and have made numerous regrettable decisions in my lifetime. To say that if you have those, you will not make mistakes is quite judgmental, at best. You are correct. The right way IS always better. But far too simplistic in your understanding of right from wrong, and people. Your implication is that anyone who cheats, or makes other mistakes that go against his or her morals, values, and ethics is insane. THAT in itself is rather unstable. . . Troy, are you kidding me? “A person with values, morals, and ethics would not cheat on another no matter what . . . ?” How can you presume that? Mankind is born sinful and selfish. To be anything different requires learning, and everyone doesn’t get that. I have morals, values, and ethics, and have made numerous regrettable decisions in my lifetime. To say that if you have those, you will not make mistakes is quite judgmental, at best. You are correct. The right way IS always better. But far too simplistic in your understanding of right from wrong, and people. Your implication is that anyone who cheats, or makes other mistakes that go against his or her morals, values, and ethics is insane. THAT in itself is rather unstable. . .

]]> By: Troy http://rodesmith.com/2008/04/03/i-left-my-husband-for-another-man/#comment-25137 Troy Tue, 26 Jan 2010 21:22:55 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/2008/04/03/i-left-my-husband-for-another-man/#comment-25137 Anyone sane knows right from wrong. A person with values, morals, and ethics would not cheat on another no matter what. If something is wrong in the marriage, you talk about it and try all you can do before leaving the marriage if that is possible. If that isn't what you want, you both talk about it and make the next moves for each to go separate ways. You don't introduce destructive ways first to end a marriage. You cannot just think of yourself, do what is right and how you would want someone to do for you! The right way is always better! Anyone sane knows right from wrong. A person with values, morals, and ethics would not cheat on another no matter what. If something is wrong in the marriage, you talk about it and try all you can do before leaving the marriage if that is possible. If that isn’t what you want, you both talk about it and make the next moves for each to go separate ways. You don’t introduce destructive ways first to end a marriage. You cannot just think of yourself, do what is right and how you would want someone to do for you! The right way is always better!

]]> By: S http://rodesmith.com/2008/04/03/i-left-my-husband-for-another-man/#comment-24882 S Tue, 01 Dec 2009 16:25:17 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/2008/04/03/i-left-my-husband-for-another-man/#comment-24882 I left my bad marriage for a man with whom I fell in love. We have a great life and I am only sad that I did not leave sooner. I find that no matter who cheats there would NOT have been cheating period if the marriage was strong and good. Blaming male or female, the one who cheated is not always correct. The one who caused the marriage to end is not always the CHEATER! To put a name like that on anyone is unfair, untrue and just wrong. It takes two to make a marriage and it ends with two as well cheating or no cheating! That is a result not a cause! Don't feel bad about your situation and I am sorry your new love did not work out but get back up and live again and don't feel bad about what happened. Love is worth whatever you go through when its right. I left my bad marriage for a man with whom I fell in love. We have a great life and I am only sad that I did not leave sooner. I find that no matter who cheats there would NOT have been cheating period if the marriage was strong and good. Blaming male or female, the one who cheated is not always correct. The one who caused the marriage to end is not always the CHEATER! To put a name like that on anyone is unfair, untrue and just wrong. It takes two to make a marriage and it ends with two as well cheating or no cheating! That is a result not a cause! Don’t feel bad about your situation and I am sorry your new love did not work out but get back up and live again and don’t feel bad about what happened. Love is worth whatever you go through when its right.

]]> By: thedeej http://rodesmith.com/2008/04/03/i-left-my-husband-for-another-man/#comment-23981 thedeej Sat, 04 Jul 2009 13:36:02 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/2008/04/03/i-left-my-husband-for-another-man/#comment-23981 Fiance's x-wife was having an affair, chose to move in with new beau & not take children(actually they do not want to go ages 9, 13 & 16 then). Continuous calls calling dad to come get them because beau was not very nice to them or a party had ensued. 2yrs. later we met, and the calls never stopped to complain about kids when they were visting & eventually middle child(son) w/ drugs. 4 yrs, into the relationship found out that Mom was behind the scences w/ daughters telling them to me rude to me to get me out of the picture. Even though she was living w/ another man, she still wanted dad back(I felt it, but stayed fast because we had a great relationship). Evetually Son went to jail & fiance fell apart and we separated for 4 monthsHis choice, he had nothing left to give me at this time). Found out about 8 months after we got back together, that the X swooped in(using Son as the pawn)to get back together. It definatley did not work as by then the children knew we were a TEAM & told me of the parents "dating". They actually did not want it to happen, but their mother is their mother as they say. She is a sociopath and now we all know how not to feed into the games. Fiance’s x-wife was having an affair, chose to move in with new beau & not take children(actually they do not want to go ages 9, 13 & 16 then). Continuous calls calling dad to come get them because beau was not very nice to them or a party had ensued. 2yrs. later we met, and the calls never stopped to complain about kids when they were visting & eventually middle child(son) w/ drugs. 4 yrs, into the relationship found out that Mom was behind the scences w/ daughters telling them to me rude to me to get me out of the picture. Even though she was living w/ another man, she still wanted dad back(I felt it, but stayed fast because we had a great relationship). Evetually Son went to jail & fiance fell apart and we separated for 4 monthsHis choice, he had nothing left to give me at this time). Found out about 8 months after we got back together, that the X swooped in(using Son as the pawn)to get back together. It definatley did not work as by then the children knew we were a TEAM & told me of the parents “dating”. They actually did not want it to happen, but their mother is their mother as they say.
She is a sociopath and now we all know how not to feed into the games.

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