Strangers want to know details about my mother’s death…

READER QUESTION: My mother died recently after a long illness. People I hardly know want to be told every little detail about her final months. I do not feel comfortable talking about this with anyone apart from immediate family or close friends. These virtual strangers say to me: “What’s wrong with you? You have to share your grief.” Is there anything wrong with wanting privacy at this time?

ROD’S RESPONSE: Your grief is your business. You decide how you will (or will not) handle your loss and with whom you will share it. I’d suggest you inform “interested” (inquisitive) strangers that you will willingly remain out of their personal affairs and you’d prefer similar treatment in return.

About Rod E. Smith, MSMFT
Rod Smith is a family therapist who writes a daily newspaper column called "YOU AND ME" which has run in The Mercury (east coast of South Africa) for the past nine years. Contact Rod for more information.

One Response to Strangers want to know details about my mother’s death…

  1. tobeme says:

    Sounds like people were trying to be helpful. Rod’s suggested response will help people to know that you are not comfortable talking about it.

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