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	<title>Comments on: Partner abuse</title>
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	<link>http://rodesmith.com/2006/05/18/spousal-abuse-domination-intimidation-control/</link>
	<description>1000+ columns - increasing daily - sometimes the web has a face</description>
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	<item>
		<title>By: Savshen</title>
		<link>http://rodesmith.com/2006/05/18/spousal-abuse-domination-intimidation-control/#comment-23036</link>
		<dc:creator>Savshen</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 07 May 2009 06:25:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://rodesmith.wordpress.com/2006/05/18/spousal-abuse-domination-intimidation-control/#comment-23036</guid>
		<description>It is people like these that have hijacked marriage. 
All that this person is expecting is what a servant does, not a wife.
A wife takes care of her household and her husband out of love. It is not her duty. She does it out of care. She is not obligated to do it.
A women also has feelings. Marriage requires effort and commitment from both sides. 

If not getting a cup of coffee amounts to mental torture, this person has to be worshipped!!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>It is people like these that have hijacked marriage.<br />
All that this person is expecting is what a servant does, not a wife.<br />
A wife takes care of her household and her husband out of love. It is not her duty. She does it out of care. She is not obligated to do it.<br />
A women also has feelings. Marriage requires effort and commitment from both sides. </p>
<p>If not getting a cup of coffee amounts to mental torture, this person has to be worshipped!!</p>
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	<item>
		<title>By: um</title>
		<link>http://rodesmith.com/2006/05/18/spousal-abuse-domination-intimidation-control/#comment-21079</link>
		<dc:creator>um</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 21 Jun 2008 03:32:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://rodesmith.wordpress.com/2006/05/18/spousal-abuse-domination-intimidation-control/#comment-21079</guid>
		<description>&quot;To keep the fire burning brightly, there&#039;s one easy rule: keep the two logs together, near enough to keep each other warm and far enough apart -- about a finger&#039;s breadth -- for breathing room. Good fire, good marriage, same rule.&quot;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>&#8220;To keep the fire burning brightly, there&#8217;s one easy rule: keep the two logs together, near enough to keep each other warm and far enough apart &#8212; about a finger&#8217;s breadth &#8212; for breathing room. Good fire, good marriage, same rule.&#8221;</p>
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	<item>
		<title>By: um</title>
		<link>http://rodesmith.com/2006/05/18/spousal-abuse-domination-intimidation-control/#comment-21078</link>
		<dc:creator>um</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 21 Jun 2008 03:28:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://rodesmith.wordpress.com/2006/05/18/spousal-abuse-domination-intimidation-control/#comment-21078</guid>
		<description>im 23, have put up with him for 9 months, its difficult to get out and as you will understand; its sure an experience, one we dont deserve but one to make us stronger...

ive found his character to be interesting, although detrimental - in turn, ive read books and spoken to people in order to gain a better understanding but the courage is within oneself - if Gods bought you to it, He can surely bring you through it and i suppose another proverb wouldnt go amiss i.e. burning flame</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>im 23, have put up with him for 9 months, its difficult to get out and as you will understand; its sure an experience, one we dont deserve but one to make us stronger&#8230;</p>
<p>ive found his character to be interesting, although detrimental &#8211; in turn, ive read books and spoken to people in order to gain a better understanding but the courage is within oneself &#8211; if Gods bought you to it, He can surely bring you through it and i suppose another proverb wouldnt go amiss i.e. burning flame</p>
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	<item>
		<title>By: um</title>
		<link>http://rodesmith.com/2006/05/18/spousal-abuse-domination-intimidation-control/#comment-21077</link>
		<dc:creator>um</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 21 Jun 2008 03:16:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://rodesmith.wordpress.com/2006/05/18/spousal-abuse-domination-intimidation-control/#comment-21077</guid>
		<description>wow that poems brings it home - its perfect and your words are inspiring - god bless you youre not just a stat your more than that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>wow that poems brings it home &#8211; its perfect and your words are inspiring &#8211; god bless you youre not just a stat your more than that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</p>
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	<item>
		<title>By: Suzanne</title>
		<link>http://rodesmith.com/2006/05/18/spousal-abuse-domination-intimidation-control/#comment-6099</link>
		<dc:creator>Suzanne</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 07 Jan 2007 19:56:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://rodesmith.wordpress.com/2006/05/18/spousal-abuse-domination-intimidation-control/#comment-6099</guid>
		<description>I would like to share my poem because at 37 I can relate to many of these opinions..I am a statistic in so many ways..sexually abused as a child, physically and financially abused by my husband...I see that I have been co-dependant and what I feel is a real loss...I dont believe in any higher power which always seems to be the answer to everything..I did write this about 8 months ago and I still cant do it....But it helps and I hope it will help someone else...


Look at My Past, See It All the Way Through,
That &quot;Nice Guys Finish Last&quot;, I&#039;m Proof That it&#039;s True,
&quot;Do Onto Others as You Would Have Them Do Onto You&quot;
This Was My Motto, My Outlook, My Constant Point of View.

Being So Generous, Listen, It Doesn&#039;t Pay,
&#039;Cause When it is your Turn, Believe Me, They&#039;ll Be Looking Away
I am Not Saying to be Evil, or Unkind,
But Try to Protect Yourself, Just Keep It in Mind.

Don&#039;t Be Selfish, But Don&#039;t Be a Fool,
Write Down Your Guidelines, Your Limits, to Use as a Tool,
You Don&#039;t Need to Anaylse...Or Understand,
Just When You&#039;re Screwed Over, Draw a Line in the Sand.

Forgiveness is one Thing, Something We Should Do,
Forgiving and Forgetting, Is Healthier For You,
But Don&#039;t let Things Slide, Because It&#039;s So Easy,
Not Confronting the Person Who Acted So Sleazy.

This Can Create, A Bad Situation,
Setting a Presidence, Giving a Quick Education,
You Teach People, How To Treat You,
What You&#039;ll Put Up With, What You Will Do.

Give Yourself Pride and More Respect,
&#039;Cause I Guarantee You, You&#039;ve Seen Nothing Yet,
You Don&#039;t Know What They are Capable of Doing,
But Know This, My Dear, You&#039;ll Be the One Hurting.

Anyone Who Does Something, You Wouldn&#039;t Do,
To Them or To Others, Is Not For You,
Don&#039;t Give Them.....The Benefit of the Doubt,
Just End the Relationship....And Get Yourself Out!!

I have written many poems trying to make sense of life and to bring myself some calmness.  I read this quote today and I think we would all be better to remember it,

     &quot;Love Is The Selfless Promotion of the Growth of the Other&quot;
                                            Milton Mayeroff</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I would like to share my poem because at 37 I can relate to many of these opinions..I am a statistic in so many ways..sexually abused as a child, physically and financially abused by my husband&#8230;I see that I have been co-dependant and what I feel is a real loss&#8230;I dont believe in any higher power which always seems to be the answer to everything..I did write this about 8 months ago and I still cant do it&#8230;.But it helps and I hope it will help someone else&#8230;</p>
<p>Look at My Past, See It All the Way Through,<br />
That &#8220;Nice Guys Finish Last&#8221;, I&#8217;m Proof That it&#8217;s True,<br />
&#8220;Do Onto Others as You Would Have Them Do Onto You&#8221;<br />
This Was My Motto, My Outlook, My Constant Point of View.</p>
<p>Being So Generous, Listen, It Doesn&#8217;t Pay,<br />
&#8216;Cause When it is your Turn, Believe Me, They&#8217;ll Be Looking Away<br />
I am Not Saying to be Evil, or Unkind,<br />
But Try to Protect Yourself, Just Keep It in Mind.</p>
<p>Don&#8217;t Be Selfish, But Don&#8217;t Be a Fool,<br />
Write Down Your Guidelines, Your Limits, to Use as a Tool,<br />
You Don&#8217;t Need to Anaylse&#8230;Or Understand,<br />
Just When You&#8217;re Screwed Over, Draw a Line in the Sand.</p>
<p>Forgiveness is one Thing, Something We Should Do,<br />
Forgiving and Forgetting, Is Healthier For You,<br />
But Don&#8217;t let Things Slide, Because It&#8217;s So Easy,<br />
Not Confronting the Person Who Acted So Sleazy.</p>
<p>This Can Create, A Bad Situation,<br />
Setting a Presidence, Giving a Quick Education,<br />
You Teach People, How To Treat You,<br />
What You&#8217;ll Put Up With, What You Will Do.</p>
<p>Give Yourself Pride and More Respect,<br />
&#8216;Cause I Guarantee You, You&#8217;ve Seen Nothing Yet,<br />
You Don&#8217;t Know What They are Capable of Doing,<br />
But Know This, My Dear, You&#8217;ll Be the One Hurting.</p>
<p>Anyone Who Does Something, You Wouldn&#8217;t Do,<br />
To Them or To Others, Is Not For You,<br />
Don&#8217;t Give Them&#8230;..The Benefit of the Doubt,<br />
Just End the Relationship&#8230;.And Get Yourself Out!!</p>
<p>I have written many poems trying to make sense of life and to bring myself some calmness.  I read this quote today and I think we would all be better to remember it,</p>
<p>     &#8220;Love Is The Selfless Promotion of the Growth of the Other&#8221;<br />
                                            Milton Mayeroff</p>
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	<item>
		<title>By: Rod E. Smith, MSMFT</title>
		<link>http://rodesmith.com/2006/05/18/spousal-abuse-domination-intimidation-control/#comment-3884</link>
		<dc:creator>Rod E. Smith, MSMFT</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 26 Sep 2006 14:47:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://rodesmith.wordpress.com/2006/05/18/spousal-abuse-domination-intimidation-control/#comment-3884</guid>
		<description>... I shall do it right away, Zoya, and thanks for your help....... Rod</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>&#8230; I shall do it right away, Zoya, and thanks for your help&#8230;&#8230;. Rod</p>
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	<item>
		<title>By: Zoya</title>
		<link>http://rodesmith.com/2006/05/18/spousal-abuse-domination-intimidation-control/#comment-3873</link>
		<dc:creator>Zoya</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 25 Sep 2006 23:22:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://rodesmith.wordpress.com/2006/05/18/spousal-abuse-domination-intimidation-control/#comment-3873</guid>
		<description>correction, &quot;psychological&quot;, please excuse the typo.
Zoya.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>correction, &#8220;psychological&#8221;, please excuse the typo.<br />
Zoya.</p>
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	<item>
		<title>By: Zoya</title>
		<link>http://rodesmith.com/2006/05/18/spousal-abuse-domination-intimidation-control/#comment-3872</link>
		<dc:creator>Zoya</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 25 Sep 2006 23:20:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://rodesmith.wordpress.com/2006/05/18/spousal-abuse-domination-intimidation-control/#comment-3872</guid>
		<description>Dear Mr. Smith,
Please make a correction in your post.  Emotional and phsychological abuse is not AS equally devastating as a domestic violence, it IS domestic violence.  I work for social services; and it is very important that people understand and don&#039;t underestimate this concept.
thank you,
Zoya.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Dear Mr. Smith,<br />
Please make a correction in your post.  Emotional and phsychological abuse is not AS equally devastating as a domestic violence, it IS domestic violence.  I work for social services; and it is very important that people understand and don&#8217;t underestimate this concept.<br />
thank you,<br />
Zoya.</p>
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		<title>By: vani</title>
		<link>http://rodesmith.com/2006/05/18/spousal-abuse-domination-intimidation-control/#comment-3788</link>
		<dc:creator>vani</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 20 Sep 2006 01:40:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://rodesmith.wordpress.com/2006/05/18/spousal-abuse-domination-intimidation-control/#comment-3788</guid>
		<description>I am married since 4 years.  My husband is a neuoropsychologist working in the US.  I&#039;m in India.  He has tested my patience enough by asking me to wait until he finished his Ph.D, then resume the relationship.  3 years gone by.  Now,I waited for him being separate.  Now he says he wants a divorce.  I am just pissed off.  He has made use of my love and affection towards him.  How can I teach him a lesson. can I get back to him?  kindly reply</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I am married since 4 years.  My husband is a neuoropsychologist working in the US.  I&#8217;m in India.  He has tested my patience enough by asking me to wait until he finished his Ph.D, then resume the relationship.  3 years gone by.  Now,I waited for him being separate.  Now he says he wants a divorce.  I am just pissed off.  He has made use of my love and affection towards him.  How can I teach him a lesson. can I get back to him?  kindly reply</p>
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		<title>By: betty</title>
		<link>http://rodesmith.com/2006/05/18/spousal-abuse-domination-intimidation-control/#comment-3756</link>
		<dc:creator>betty</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 18 Sep 2006 13:13:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://rodesmith.wordpress.com/2006/05/18/spousal-abuse-domination-intimidation-control/#comment-3756</guid>
		<description>my name is bindiya.i hail from a traditional indian famaily.got married when i was 29 years old.he was a cardiac anethesiaist.before marriage they  demanded a hefty sum of money becoz of which i  refused to marry him.However my parents wnted that I get married to this guy.so the marriage was conducted .Then started his torture.It was mental and physical.My parents could not understand why he was acting in this manner.i knew but i had accepted everthing and started loving him.He started breaking my confidence to do any work.Then my .........Ego...................My parents got me back home.now i am working hard to get back to my normal self.Should i go back to my husband or live a life alone.........</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>my name is bindiya.i hail from a traditional indian famaily.got married when i was 29 years old.he was a cardiac anethesiaist.before marriage they  demanded a hefty sum of money becoz of which i  refused to marry him.However my parents wnted that I get married to this guy.so the marriage was conducted .Then started his torture.It was mental and physical.My parents could not understand why he was acting in this manner.i knew but i had accepted everthing and started loving him.He started breaking my confidence to do any work.Then my &#8230;&#8230;&#8230;Ego&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.My parents got me back home.now i am working hard to get back to my normal self.Should i go back to my husband or live a life alone&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;</p>
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